A poem to a close friend Which I've been allowed to share
True Feelings
your the light to my darkness the beat to my heart your the only exception I've loved you from the start
Talented poet emotional art hurts to see you go why must we part your my first waking moment my last before sleep A longing to hold you A feeling so deep
So for now I must kiss you a gentle goodbye See you again soon my smile you provide
Pros: I can feel the emotion in this poem. It's sweet and gentle and caring; I like it quite a lot. The rhyme scheme helps it flow, but it has a natural flow of its own. These little scenes you create, I can see them quite well.
Cons: The second line in the second stanza and the last line in the last stanza are mildly longer (perhaps for rhyming reasons?) and kind of throw off the flow a bit.
Simple wonderful song, I love it because it captures the perfect moment. Thank you for this aspiring picture and emotional touch. I hope to find more of your work that will refresh my day so nicely.
I am enjoying this theme more of your writings, it's cheerful and loving, you should write about love more often you do it beautifully, Keep writing and shining ! :)
A very pleasant and sweet piece. Nice change of pace. Too much negative, no matter how well written, can be hard to take for readers... I'm guilty of that myself. Enjoyable and uplifting poem.
Pros: I can feel the emotion in this poem. It's sweet and gentle and caring; I like it quite a lot. The rhyme scheme helps it flow, but it has a natural flow of its own. These little scenes you create, I can see them quite well.
Cons: The second line in the second stanza and the last line in the last stanza are mildly longer (perhaps for rhyming reasons?) and kind of throw off the flow a bit.
I liked this heartfelt love poem... nice rhythm. Maybe perhaps a little tuning of the last line "my smile you provide" or maybe not, see what other people think.
I love this poem, it is so beautiful. Simple but says a lot, which I love. Poems don't have to be complex to express their meaning and I think some people forget that sometimes, but you didn't here. Truly wonderful! Definitely one of my favorites!
I Am Ashley Black (an alter ego ) I have a dark mind when it comes to my poetry as the strongest emotions come from negative
RETURNING- I have been distant from this site for a while but I am fina.. more..