Layers Upon My Nightmare

A poem describing A decent into a dream

Layers Upon My Nightmare

Holding on to the day just past

smiling as each second darkens the last

eyes become concrete and soon they shut,

Walking aimlessly down a winding path

unbeknown to a treacherous laugh  

suddenly shocked by his violent wrath 

Please wake up, please get me out of this nightmare,

Surrounded by white a pale despair,

a dream within a dream 

A nightmare within A nightmare,
hearing the laugh sends shivers down my spine

haunted in a land which holds no time,

Echoes of the laughter fill the air

as eyes start to open

I feel his glare,

one last attempt to scare, he will seize

shouting into the white

he ignores my pleas,

Turn to see the face that haunts me at night

a reflection of myself 

I scorn in spite,

End of a nightmare dawns a new day

my fear is myself and I won't go away. 

Author's Note

Thank you so much for reading this poem

I would like to know what your thoughts are about this poem and please be honest as always

Reviews

[freelancejouster]

this feel halted and precarious in a way that it shouldn't. the flow is missing. wonderful topic and beautiful notion underneath. just dig a little.

[Etoiles]

I love the line:
'haunted in a land which holds no time'.
I'm familiar with the feeling...
Also, I find the ideas here similar to two of my own poems: 'Onslaught' and 'Tempest'.
If you're interested have an ol' looksie :)

Anyway, I love this piece.
Well done.
:)

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

wow Im speechless this is very moving I loved it

100/100

[Kes]

The last two lines are great. :)
Scratch that, the whole poem is great! Not in a happy way, but in a hair-raising, spine-tingling way. I love it. :)

[Lily Mae]

This is brilliant and you had me all along but blew my mind with the last two lines.. Love it..xx

[xXxCynicalWarsxXx]

I know this feeling far too well, and it bites the joy out of life when you fear who you are. Every night is a torment to just lie down, to just try and forget the worries and the paranoia of who I am. And even though I dream of joyous things, the haunting never fades. The darkend light that is within, the war against this mechanical being is raging more than ever as I fight back to hold on to the good and the great, even the amazing. When you are afraid of who you've become, take a step back, and try to breathe. Be who you wish to be and be You, the man in the mirror you can overcome. And be anything you desire, and know full and well, it's enough to make other's smile when you try. Nice write, and a great description. Love it.