Is there something wrong with me?

A poem about reflection

Is There Something Wrong With Me?

Sitting up in bed
reflecting on the past
Observing my single life
and how I am the last
Friends all have partners
I’m victim to their love
Having to witness every second
claiming they are sent from above

I’m there to comfort the arguments
I’m here if your alone
I’m anywhere you want me to be
Even if your spiteful words I don’t condone

They are only in the moment
when your anger is at it’s peak
Listening to friends slate eachother
Then be totally in love within a week

Now I’m always the friend
the third wheel on a date
The person you feel sorry for
Who wants to stay out late
But your lives together change you
And now its early nights
The only time I see you
Is after one of your fights

Then I’m here to comfort the arguments
I’m here if your alone
I’m anywhere you want me to be
Even if your spiteful words I don’t condone

I continue to reflect
looking at pictures from the past
Wondering what I do
to make my relationships never last
Perhaps I’m too needy
wanting to hold you everyday
Is it a sin to tell you I love you
When you make me feel that way
I observe the long lost smile
I rarely choose to show
Always being the dumped
Never letting go

Do my friends wish me happiness
Do they really care
For I’m the person they come to
In any time of despair

I am the listener
the comforter
the blend
The fixer
the negotiator
I’m just Ashley
The vacant friend 

I long for a time when I can say
I’m busy this time around
I have my girlfriend over
The one that I have found
I can’t be there to help with this argument 
I’m sorry I’m not alone
I can’t come to meet you
Don’t spite my friend
I’m hanging up the phone

But I don’t think I could do that for I am just too nice
My life is incomplete without love
I’m always the sugar and I crave for the spice
It breaks my heart to be lonely
a tear drop has come loose
The thoughts of my lonely life
Acting as a noose

So is there something wrong with me??
I’m everything and more
I will give you my entire world
Be the person I adore
Just let me taste love one more time
Its sweetness I do crave
I’m willing to open up my love
Even the heartbreak I will brave

One day is all I want
just to feel this way again
And Ashley blacks world
you will surely reign

Author's Note

I wrote this whilst looking through some old pictures

please be honest as always

yes its me in the picture

Reviews

[Tarik]

This is so touching. After reading this i locked myself up in the bathroom for about two minutes, before i returned to write down this review. I can't explain. It's as if you've encapsulated my feelings here. I feel the same; so lonely, so misunderstood. My fears are nearly the same as yours. I'm afraid that one day my best friend will get married and forget me, and then, i'll remain all alone under the shades of my languid thoughts.

[Jacey Poison Girl]

I actually liked this and can relate to it on so many levels.
Only I've gotten so fed up with my friends and their relationships that I somehow end up spewing venom instead of encouragement. Especially when they come to me during their periods of "break up"

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. But it also seems as if your friends want the best for you but don't realize that sometimes the single friend just can't stand to watch the loveyness of a couple.

[Call Me Blu]

There is nothing wrong with you! I know how you feel though because no matter where I am I am ALWAYS just that friend. It's gotten to the point where i find it impossible to think highly of myself. At least it hit you when you can do something about it. I'm going in alone as an 8th grader with a few friends (All have a boyfriend) Go out and get yourself a girl! You deserve it.

[ORBLE]

So good, I absolutely loved it. I think we all feel like this at some stage in our lives and the looking back at photos I find are the best time to write - I'm pretty reflective then! A beautiful poem and you kept it rhyming til the end which is always good :) Usually I'm not a fan of long poems, but the short lines kept my attention til the very last word. Awesome piece

Ella

[hedgehog]

your words are true

[Megan S.]

This was beautiful. You can really feel pain etched into the words, but it's almost... how do I explain it... It's like you took the pain and made it something bearable through a hope that I'm not sure you meant to come through. The rhymme scheme threw me off a bit at first, for some reason, that's not what I originally pegged you as in your poetry. In this poem, you show parts of you in different ways, your pain, your love, your heart, your mind... You show us who you are and what matters to you all without saying it right out. Maybe I'm just reading to much into it. Anyway, you nailed this poem. 100/100

[Sukriti Suki]

Nice one! it flows so well, full of emotion, want, and even hope. Sometimes just being nice and wanted doesn't cut it out...Love is something true romantics can't live without, truly relate. A very nice piece.

[Peter Joseph Swanson]

Powerful!