New Stock

The arrival of the Rag doll

New Stock

The shop door opens delivery arrives
manager pleased as his business thrives
new toys are opened all of the brands
except one little wooden box 
that looks like closed hands

bewildered and intrigued the manager reads
“little girl Casey with additional beads”
this one little rag doll no others in sight
no check list or price something’s not right

put in the office away from buyers eyes
a little girl wonders in anticipating new supplies
the manager greets her in a softening tone
“take a look around, are you here alone?”

With that the mother enters to answer his question
“No she’s with me anything new for suggestion?”
this business woman does surely excite
Show only the most expensive
The manager will be the bait and she will bite 

A door slams behind the man his neck he does tilt
he’s sure he locked that door then his feelings do wilt

The little girl shrieks with new Casey in hand
“It just walked to me mommy”
Mother ignores the statement not willing to understand

“How much for this?” the mother does query
Manger in a predicament and acting so weary
“for that new line I haven’t a clue
The prices and the stock list I have yet to pursue”

The mother seems tested and he’s keen for the sell
“give me 50 bucks what the hell”

The mistake has been made this rag doll has a home
And they never queried how it got out alone

Author's Note

Now she's in the world what could possibly happen???

Please give honest reviews as always

Reviews

[Deviant Works]

To be honest I am truly surprised by the creativity and wonderful rhyme of this piece. The story was perfectly told, completely refreshing and unlike many things I have read. This poem had this curious feel to it, which is hard to explain. It was suspenseful, almost thrilling to read with the unknown doll. But this also felt pleasant and friendly, as if I had nothing to fear. I love how the doll picked the girl. At first I thought of "Chucky", the killer redhead doll, but you ended this sweetly...I hope.:)

[Shelby]

It's fascinating how you leave so much unsaid, letting the reader infer what iis happening. The way, also, you explain things, rather than saying it outright, you use the little girl's voice, "It just walked to me mommy” or the thoughts of the manager, "he’s sure he locked that door then his feelings do wilt" and so on. You explain things so perfectly (show don't tel, blah, blah, blah) and I am duly impressed. You've captured the dread and forboding and that's what makes a horror story so horrifying. As always, well done, and thank you for sharing this with me.

[northern monkey]

Masterful storytelling - engages and draws the reader in with rare skill. Captivating.

[Becky Lawrence]

this is a great poem! But it has me looking at my old stuffed bear wondering if it will try to eat me tonight :/ anyway, it's such an interesting and creative idea, an evil doll. I don't think I have ever heard of anything like this before.

[Thea Fuentebella]

i'm not sure if the rhyming scheme is outstanding or not. some lines seem a little off because of it...then again it's till good...i'm confused with my judgement! arr

anyways, i love this story whether you make it poetry style or not. it has a good plot, and, as always, an adorably ominous main character.

i wish she chose me! i've always wanted to own a live doll!..ooh on second thought...haha

[Katie]

There appeared to be less forcing lines to fit in this one, or maybe none at all, I'm not sure, But either way, better. A few lines seem out of place because in general you did this poem in a rhyming couplet-like style and some of the lines did not fit it otherwise very well done. I love the story you have going, excellent work

[J.M]

Definitely planning to follow this series - you slightly confused me with 'Manger in a predicament - perhaps manager? but it was a fabulous second part. Ingenious so far and love the direction it has taken so far. Especially 'it just walk to me mommy'! - truly chilling work of art.

[M.Babu]

put in the office away from buyers eyes
a little girl wonders in anticipating new supplies
the manager greets her in a softening tone
“take a look around, are you here alone?”
Really loved this part. I think i like how this is transpiring. You're a very thoughtful writer--> I hate predictable plots. Great suspense at the end. The rhyming as always is impeccable and well placed. Again i'm awed with your work!...thanks for sharing. Good Job with this one

[trainwreck]

Can you number or label what order these go in? it would be really helpful.

[Poeticadia]

oooh, scary... the suspense...i love it! I don't know... if us mums just listened to our kids... eh? lol

[Stef Outsiders]

Thats the burning question? is she going to cause havoc and is more blood going to be spilt?? is she going to kill the girl? Ooh the suspense!! (Rub hands together with a crocked grin) lol