Smurf

Smurf

A Poem by {A}shley {B}lack @-;-
"

Written for an Ex

"
Smurf
Self expression  
Made from heaven
Unique style
Running wild
Finding love
In your face
Loud and loyal
Oasis our place
Vertically challenged 
Expressive and strong
You hold my heart
Our time will be long
Un comparable in every way
Can’t wait until I see you today

© 2011 {A}shley {B}lack @-;-


Author's Note

{A}shley {B}lack @-;-
This poem was written for my ex girlfriend totally forgot about it

*notice the starting letter"

I know this is not my usual style but a poem is a poem so please review

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Featured Review

Sweet. And very different. That's what I like about you. You don't write as a typical poet on this sight. I love how well you made this work, what with the constrictions of each opening letter, and the rhyme scheme you adhered to. I always respect people who are able to succeed at doing the things I fail at, such as writing in anything but free form. But this seems to come to you easily. The restrictions don't feel like restrictions when you write. You use it to your advantage and never stray into the used or hackneyed. Also, the switch from aabb rhyme scheme to abcb came at the most opportune moment and brought a depth and shift that made this piece even more interesting. Very well done and I thank you for sharing this with me.

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

curious different style, but work to effectiveness for sure..

Posted 13 Years Ago


Clever use of lettering there.

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 4 people found this review constructive.

I love acrostic poems when they are doen well, and you actually managed to make it rhyme. I've written a few of these. None of them were as sweet as this, nor did they have as good a rhythm. "Oasis our place" This was the only line where it didn't seem to follow the rhythm as well as the other lines.

"Un comparable" Since it's technically one word (although kind of a made up word) you should put a dash between "un" and "comparable" and connect them.

I like this a lot, though. Was the Smurf thing a jok ebetween you two? My favorite line was "Vertically challenged" I've heard this line a lot, but never in a poem. And the last line really brought it all together and made it feel like it came to a conclusion. I really like this. Sorry if it took me a long time to read, though. I promise I wasn't ignoring you.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

you have experimented with a different style..and have done it really well..each phrase taken individually here seems incoherent and rather mundane..but as an ensemble its pretty great..oh and i'm trying hard to keep pace with the RRs..so forgive me if i haven't reviewed any of the other works..keep writing..

Posted 13 Years Ago


aww its so cute!!! lol made me smile

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

cute and different!

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 6 people found this review constructive.

Cute. I like this one, It's different indeed. It make me smile. Nice work with the acrostic style.
Still lacks punctuation. I;m going to start sounding like a broken reccord about that soon, if I don't already.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cool poem. I wonder how it would sound put to music?

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sweet. And very different. That's what I like about you. You don't write as a typical poet on this sight. I love how well you made this work, what with the constrictions of each opening letter, and the rhyme scheme you adhered to. I always respect people who are able to succeed at doing the things I fail at, such as writing in anything but free form. But this seems to come to you easily. The restrictions don't feel like restrictions when you write. You use it to your advantage and never stray into the used or hackneyed. Also, the switch from aabb rhyme scheme to abcb came at the most opportune moment and brought a depth and shift that made this piece even more interesting. Very well done and I thank you for sharing this with me.

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This is a fun poem. Probably made her smile.

Posted 13 Years Ago



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23 Reviews
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Added on March 3, 2011
Last Updated on March 3, 2011

Author

{A}shley {B}lack @-;-
{A}shley {B}lack @-;-

Sheriffhales, Shropshire , United Kingdom



About
I Am Ashley Black (an alter ego ) I have a dark mind when it comes to my poetry as the strongest emotions come from negative RETURNING- I have been distant from this site for a while but I am fina.. more..

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