This is interesting prose work for poetry. I think this would make a remarkable series. The doll, entering into the living, to tell the horrid tale, of all that she had seen. Quite impressive.. Very origional and very very intriquiging, You should make this poem a preface, and re-order it as a book. Each chapter can be in poetic form telling this sad tale from begining to end.. Wonderful creation. 100/100 for the idea alon, and a 100/100 for the technical its really a 200/100 in my oppinion, but they won't let me go higher than 100. Let me know if you pursue this as a book of prose poetry so I can add it to my reading list. Thank you
I think it would be interesting to continue this as a series. Although I don't think you should just give up the secret, you should make the reader feel like they had to work for it. It adds interest and makes the reader more invested.
As for technicals
Lacks punctuation again, which I dislike. I'm a fan of proper punctuation. It is required in any form of writing and poetry is no exception.
Definitely make this a series - am deeply intrigued - the only thing bugging me was shouldn't it be 'a smile appears on this rag dolls face rather than 'from'. Apart from that i loved it though. Very clever twist at the end taking it from sad and somewhat nostalgic in tone to sinister and fascinating.
i like it when toys are used in dark stories..it's interesting and creepy and BEAUTIFUL, gothic and unpredictable. an interesting story indeed :)
can't wait for the next series of this one!
Wow!! I would say you have a great thing going here. I see lots more coming from this.. Loved the way it was brought forth, the wording, the style.. Oh yea! Def a winner in my eyes, Go for it!
A secret, I love them...I wonder what darkness may lay:).
I love the texture and the flow of this poem..has a mysterious
beat that makes one wonder from line to line.
I Am Ashley Black (an alter ego ) I have a dark mind when it comes to my poetry as the strongest emotions come from negative
RETURNING- I have been distant from this site for a while but I am fina.. more..