Death To The Social Networks

A poem based on my views of Face book

Death To The Social Networks

My mind does regularly ponder 

on why people MUST look

changing profile pictures, status’s 

on that devil face book 

Why do I want to conform 

to a site that isn’t free

people spend their lives on face book

your price your mortality 

zombies to little games 

and ads that have no appeal

people will you snap out of it

talk in person at least I’m real 

I’m actually twenty one 

I’m actually six foot two 

I’m actually the sex I say I am

I’m physically in view

Relationships in chaos 

“why has your status changed?”

causing more bad than good

leaving people more deranged 

I’m often asked to create a profile

I’m afraid I just wont budge

People lose their jobs and partners

sorry doesn’t appeal to me 

so who are you to judge?

I don’t want to talk to shadows 

or people from my past

there are reasons I don’t keep in contact

otherwise our friendship would last 

I don’t need thousands of people

and talk to only a few

I may only have fifty contacts 

your lucky if one is you 

I can see the benefits 

this isn’t a hate campaign 

I simply have a view on a site

that I believe drives people insane 

I can understand for people like me

who often have to explain why?

Social conformity to this giant

or be it the overseeing eye 

we don’t like to be the sheep 

we like to live our lives

I want so see the world for myself

not give pictures to random spies 

So death to all the networks! 

so we can begin to breathe 

live our lives to our own direction 

mark I wont conform I wish you all take heed 

Author's Note

A poem which basically gives my views
my intention isn't to offend simply to give my reasons for not wanting a profile in the world

please give honest reviews as always
thank you for reading

Reviews

[freelancejouster]

i love the thoughts and anger behind this, the internet is a place where you can be someone you are not and to be enraged by that is normal and acceptable, though you're hypocritical in the same way as you know you do it yourself. your phrasing is magnificent, the rhyme adding a half-sing-song lilt to it that just made your anger that much more ridiculous. great work here, but is there a reason you're afraid to puntuate your pauses? i would be were there different meaning to glean from alternate punctuation than that that is technically correct, but as there's not one...? especially where there's a pause mid-phrase where you don't leave one?

[Jonathan]

Spoken like a man with steel balls
Great job keep up the excellent work

[Mark Daniels]

I read this to my intro to poetry class and the loved it, and so did I! great job :)

[.shalynn.009.]

Wow. I got a read request from someone to read this. I have to say it's very...honest.

"your price your mortality
zombies to little games" I liked the continuity between these two stanzas. It was funny and had multiple interpretations. A different take on the danger to your immortality. The danger to your mortality isn't often explored. But a zombie is a good way to showcase this. After all, they could conceivably live forever, as long as there are always humans to feast on, yet they are the undead, adn therefore not really alive to begin with. And they really couldn't live forever, because they would eventually eat up all of their human supply of food, or turn them into the undead as well, which is a good metaphor for the subject of your poem.

"your lucky if one is you" this should be "you're lucky"


"I want so see the world for myself" I take it you meant "I want to see"

Other than that, I didn't see anything to nitpick at. A very straight-forward poem.

As for me, I like facebook, as long as it isn't an addiction, which it isn't for me. I like to be able to contact several friends at once and have them have access to me. I have three good friends who live in other states, and one brother, so I like the ability to contact them anytime and let them get back to me whenever. And I find it a useful tool, since so many people are on there, to get out my social messages, such as the campaign against DADT and equal marriage rights. Other than that, I just think it's fun. But as you said, you "can see the benefits" so I won't preach at you, since you have a very valid argument. Alas, we live in a very internet based age, an extremely digital world. And while the web can connect so many people who wouldn't be otherwise, it just as easily cuts people off from the warmth of human connection. So, honestly, since it's a pretty new thing to our world, I'm a little on the fence about the internet. After all, it gave me WC, which I love, because I don't think half the people on here would feel comfortable getting honest critiques about their writing face to face. But I'm a person who would like to show my work to a large body of people, which is hard to do in person. Again, I'm on the fence about it, because I can see the value in both sides and I have yet to make up my mind.

Anyways, good poem. I enjoyed reading it. It's always valuable to read things from conflicting viewpoints. Be interesting if someone wrote a response poem to this. But good job. I liked reading a straightforward poem for once, rather than one full of metaphors and whatnot.

[Shelby]

Haha, i must say, I would have wholeheartedly agreed even four months ago. I couldn't see any point to those sights and I would have said all the same things. However, I DID get one not long ago and for all of a month i was addicted. Now not so much. You make many valid points (why am I contacting people from the past? There's a reason they're in the past!) and for the most part I talk to only four or five people out of the fifty-something that I have. So I agree, to a point, and respect the fact that you see the value of real human contact. Your rhymes fit well into the rhythm of this poem, giving an order to your life and emphasising the disorder that comes from these sights. You have a very clear-sighted view to this phenomonon and present your ideas in a consise, ordered way that gives credit to your argument. Your suggestio that you can see benefits also added to your argument, showing you as being able to appreciate the opposite side. Very well written and a nice contrast to the way most people feel. Face-to-face I say!

[Rose Masen]

This has definitely enforced my my once doubtful views of FB. This was awesome.

[Ashley Myers]

yeah facebook kinda does suck. i mean i have one and i have FEW people on there but i talk to the ones i do have on my friends list. and its amazing how people post things and expect drama not to start. i mean come on people stop actin like youre in high school. mature and grow the f**k up

[♥Kaitlyn♥]

very good read! i love it!

100/100

[Arabdha]

adding it to my library :)

[Arabdha]

amusing and very entertaining..a rather strong protest against the social networks..and even though i'm a part of the mania..i'm still with you on this one..well done ! my favorite para is ..
"I’m actually twenty one
I’m actually six foot two
I’m actually the sex I say I am
I’m physically in view"..awesome !