Transforming (A Heartless Torture)

A Collaboration With Gwen Goad

Transforming 

(A Heartless Torture)

Such a laugh I’ve had toying with your mind

pretending I’m a nice person 

whilst transforming all the time

being there for you obtaining your trust

allowing you to confide in me,

your feelings now crushed to dust

I built up your confidence

knowing I was always there

little did you know I never really did care

I told you to be at the same place every single day 

talked to you for a week or two

and then just went away

leaving you to wonder,

leaving you in tears,

leaving with no real answer

death among your fears 

As I slowly corrupt your mind 

you're staying awake all night

I know I’m torturing your heart

my darkness shades your light

will you ever catch on you gullible little s**t

I won’t stop until I know

your wrists have been left cut

I want to destroy your perception of love

so all you feel is hate

read my words of wisdom

lock your f*****g gate 

Author's Note

The Second collaboration With Gwen Goad Its been a long time coming read her poem "lived through the darkness" please read and review both honestly

Reviews

[Tony]

This sounds like something Gollum would say, if he could do poetry with his teeny warped mind.
From start to finish, the most exquisite examples of human obscenity.
From the pretense that 'i never liked you anyway', into the exposure of this lie, through a need to brag on dirty deeds done. And then terminated with the ultimate destroyer of reason, Empty and Unwarranted threats.

Repulsive personality, The Ripper, without a mind.

Within the bones of a fairly normal seeming person, this voice is that of the raped child, never healed, but further damaged by 'protective institution or entities', then the scabs picked and miserable of thought. I would say a meth addled tweaker might fit the bill, but only if the person was reduced to a barely perceptible shadow before submitting to a n even darker angel.
This smells strongly of Fear and Hate, borne of Comparison.
Pretty well written though, I am thinking it would make a good metal tune.

[Rose Masen]

WHOA! The last 2 lines were unreal! Captured so insanely. The flow of this whole piece was smooth- the words so brutal. Loved it.

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

I do like this a lot people should read Gwen's "lived through the darkness" before they read your poem so they understand that your acting out the part of the cruel a*****e ... or else get the wrong impression. Had I not read hers first I might have took it literally lol but I really thought this was great

[Ashley Myers]

to my disgust there are a lot of people out there that are like this!

[Andy Ruffett]

Very well written. Like the line "your feelings now crushed to dust" None of the rhyming is forced and the rhythm is at a quick pace. Deep and haunting. I'll sure lock my f*****g gate, lol.

[Jonathan]

Very nice, I must say that I do enjoy your writing
Its truly refreshing to read your work.
From what I have read of your work I
Can truly say it is good without having to lie to
You and to myself. Keep up the excellent job.

[Silent Serenity also kn..]

Wow, truely impacting to the heart! How can someone endure so much torcher! This can be taken in so many different forms, I'll give it a shot to what I think it may be percieving! If I wrote something like this I would probably be writing about my inner deamon, alot of people torcher themselves the worst then the human race could! Self addiction on how they percieve themselves with hatered ect. I could of been far off but either way extremely powerful words! I look forward to more!

[howlfjdks]

A truly cruel hate a person can feel for another. The last line, incredible.

[A]

This was too harsh and cruel! It's well-written I'm not saying it's bad
but I personally would preferred if there was some positivity or delight at some part. that's what i think; otherwise good job.

[♥Kaitlyn♥]

it's good i like it :)

[trainwreck]

I thought this had a slightly jilted flow, but still, a good piece. Keep it up!