The Releasing Of My Life

A story of A baby Being Born

The Releasing Of My Life 

Engulfed in water, total darkness A constriction around my throat

lack of breathing, noises beeping and then a silent tone

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

The Mum

A regular day like any other two weeks overdue 

back is aching feet are hurting to name just a few  

Husband sitting quietly when I feel a strain

water gushing out of me now here comes the pain

I felt a few contractions earlier but they soon did pass

and after so many false alarms my pain I did well to mask

The Dad

I sit here reading about being a father 

while this phantom I must possess

back is also aching and I’m dealing with her stress

when out of nowhere a shriek. . . my water has broken! 

That unfamiliar line

no false alarm its coming its actually happening this time

The Doctor

10pm my phone rings the babies time has come

turning off my TV my mind no longer numb 

Meeting at the hospital this baby overdue

rushing to my car hoping traffic is ok as I cant afford to queue

The mother, father and doctor present  

and the machine emits this tone

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep !

I’m laying here cold a cord around my throat 

the happiness of earlier ended by that note

fear now does arise a purple I have turned

but this doctor keeps on fighting practicing all that he has learned

The parents stare in silence the man looks to his wife

the doctor frees the babies throat with precision of his knife

Then my first moments I scream as I can breathe my parents hug the doctor before he takes his leave

I’m looked down upon while my parents touch my head

I’m their little miracle who they believed was dead

I reach out to daddy’s finger I can’t really see

but I hear them as they turn to another and say we call you Ashley  

Author's Note

Something a little different I hope you all like please give honest reviews

Reviews

[Poeticadia]

Very well researched or from actual observation of a birth i wonder? Either way it is written with confidence from a very unique angle (as yourself as a baby)... i like it particularly because it *is* different and well thought through! The tension really builds throughout this piece... and it's a surprise and a relief to get to the last 3 lines!

[Alvin L. Kathembe]

Brilliant! what a unique poem! ive never read anything like this,and i freakin love it!
great on you, friend glad you made it!

[Bailey C. Writing]

...this is deep.
I really like it :) You're a good poet.

[poems with feeling]

deep i mean really really deep i like it a lot

good work

[Ashley Myers]

your poems are so dark but so good

[jessica Wray]

.........................

[Frankie Nguyen]

I really loved this (: It really tugs at your heart. Great job!

[Samantha (:]

Oh my gosh! I love this. Did they really think you were a still born? ): I loved how you captured the point of view from the mother, father, doctor, and new born baby all in a relatively short poem. Amazingly written. Looooove the first stanza! You automatically know it's a baby without you coming right out and saying it. Great rhythm, love your poems. (:

[Jonathan]

The story telling was solid. And the rhyming
Went perfect with the story. Well done keep
Pushing weight.

[A]

Truly enthralling! Profoundly and beautifully written words
loved the original structure and concept.

[Magdelena]

Wow. Okay honestly? I felt like I was reading a story. Your words held me enthralled and I kept going to the next line, then the next. You brought this forward like none other and it was fab! I so loved how you presented this one.. Totally fantastic and def original..

Way to go

Mags xx