Third In Line

A poem that describes suffering from abuse

Third In Line

The thud of the door opens a perilous time

lashing out, barking orders “Family In Line”

Rooms not to standard work is not done 

releasing the clasp to his belt, now we must run

Mother protecting children as fist puts her down

grabbing his eldest pulling hair from the crown

I sit there reading of marvellous medicines and BFG

when this giant looks down towering over me

The mother reacts her youngest in tears

A boot to his face ignite her worst fears

 

A knife her only option a means to escape

running downstairs but now its too late

wrist fractured, nose broken by powerful hand

ribs broken, mouth bleeding for making a stand

one is dealt with now the eldest must pay

belt round the face a buckle mark lay 

This giant towers over me for the second time

 its always in sequence his fist does align

pain I can deal with but not being third in line  

Author's Note

Please give honest reviews

Reviews

[Dev]

That there is family abuse in this world, is perhaps the saddest thing. I mean we complain about bombs and guns but often many people don't say one thing about the fists and the kicks. They just live with it and that's sad. Such violence and subsequent anger that originates at home spreads to the streets. Your write was very vivid and hence very powerful. I can almost imagine what the family must go through every time the offender walk through the door. It's a very nice write.
I don't think anyone should live through something like this and I'm sorry if you had to...!!

[ashleydawn]

The last line was very striking and unexpected. Gives a new face and feel to the poem.. The destruction referenced in the previous lines is powerful and descriptive. The last stanza. I just love it. There is so much imagery, and I can just see a rouge father beating the family with a small child in the corner reading.. because it's so common.. and not understanding fully almost, and almost a feeling of anger or bitterness that they are always last in line.. something for me to think on for a bit for sure. Thanks for the read. I have a biased turn off from rhyming poetry, but your work is very catching and mesmerizing and descriptive. Nice work.

[michael]

A good, strong poem; for me, a little off balance, but with the nature of the work,
understandable. As for it being your own personal experience, keep in mind I rate
this much, much higher.

[Pebbles]

what can i posibly say .. real an raw here Ashley brilliant poetry ... though a lot of abuse goes unseen as abusers get wiser and learn to only mark in places that aernt seen by the eyes of others ... we all have lessons in life and the getting up and leaving lesson is a very difficult but neccessary path that needs to be followed ... the abuser is always the weaker one in the end ..........

[Apathy To Empathy]

aww....I hate family abuse! It's so wrong

[Quinn Blackburn]

oh man... a poetic punch to the gut. This feels like Mother Goose gone wrong. A childhood memory too visceral, too dysfunctional and bruised to show its face in a nursery rhyme... but sadly far more real than any of those happy childhood moments so often captured between pages of our favorite youthful storybooks. Powerful, tragic, and evocative.... stellar work!

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Great and tragic story. The last line stumbled a bit. All in all, an excellent poem

[Shelby]

This was heartbreaking. I wish I could say I don't relate, but, as you know, I do. This is a very touching poem with real emotion and painful honesty. The elevated diction really put this on a new level and the rhyme scheme felt fresh, not hackneyed or wearily overused at all. Thank you for inviting me to read this. I love it and feel for the speaker, whether that is you or your imagination. Very well done. I am duly impressed and I beg you to keep writing. It is so obviously well worth it, what with your talent.

[Karina Longo]

This is an outstanding piece of writing. Very graphic and emotional. I really like it!

[Ladysue]

wow, this was evocative and very powerful piece on abuse. Very tragic...that last line is striking...remarkable writing...so sad...