Words too harshly spoken, yet in remembrance I cannot recall their origin. Was it you or I who stopped this heart from bleeding? "I take the blame. I am, I exist, and you are smiling at an unknown and uncalculated expense I will pay. In my mind I carry the hope of the lonely that love will return. In my mind I possess the strength of a mother whose children are in danger. In my mind I have the courage of a woman at war… but that is in my mind.
Words to perforate the surface, so forcing you to tread lightly across this no mans land. And yet as you move you fall through the tiny holes that serve only to remind you to retreat or prepare for the inevitable consequences. For the heart can be healed, but the wound is forever traceable through the DNA like scars that remain, decorated with a confetti of pain. So, why then do I find myself wanting to fall again into that which is you?
Words to deconstruct the feelings to a raw and agonizing state. Perhaps there IS only so many times a heart can be broken, only so many chances one person may receive. Perhaps every time we fall we lose one free ticket back to the top, thus making us deciders of our own fate. The desperate, doomed to haunt the dungeons of their own sanity for their addiction to love is the stronger driving force. You cannot force someone to love you nor can you be forced to love.
Words concepts that will not allow themselves to be understood. Powerful and flowing through us, everlasting life on a piece of paper. And so I step back merciless to the words and let them guide me through my existence.