A Cinderella Story

A Cinderella Story

A Poem by sivan

Gaping holes

Serve only for humiliation

As I try to run through the dark

Blinded,

Guided,

Only by my yearning

Because the moon is on strike and the stars have stayed asleep

And tonight,

I can’t

Keep

Still.

 

Falling

Without feeling,

Without needing

To stand back up, I leap onto wounded heels,

Held up only by

Unsteady palms, I feel the scent of you

Calms me.

 

Smiling

But in vain

In the darkness within

And running in circles,

Unknowingly,

I stumble at the feet of the mountain

I was trying to avoid.

Void

Of anything substantial

Hungry

For your potential.

Blood and sweat

Compounding;

The setting is astounding.

The music fills the night time air,|

My tears form pearls amidst your hair.

I hear the wind breathe the final call:

 

You always were

The fairest of them all.

© 2011 sivan


Author's Note

sivan
Please read... Any feedback would be great.

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Featured Review

Lovely - absolutely lovely. I like the way you have formatted the piece. It's almost lyrical, but then it stops and the words captivate you. This line I love -
"Because the moon is on strike and the stars have stayed asleep" It like you are being deserted, but then you move forward and catch yourself. As Cilla said, it does have a magical tone to it. Especially the last lines -
"The music fills the night time air,|
My tears form pearls amidst your hair.
I hear the wind breathe the final call:"
This here is beautiful wording, and the character in the poem is clearly defines. Beautiful write!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

O M G I absolutely love this poem! The flow is very soft, the words are sweet and filled with kindness... filled with mystery and fullness of Life.. all the different roads we take. Keep on writing!
Much LOVE

Posted 12 Years Ago


Love it! One thing I really loved was the rhythm of it. It flowed very beautifully. Also, wonderful ending.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lovely - absolutely lovely. I like the way you have formatted the piece. It's almost lyrical, but then it stops and the words captivate you. This line I love -
"Because the moon is on strike and the stars have stayed asleep" It like you are being deserted, but then you move forward and catch yourself. As Cilla said, it does have a magical tone to it. Especially the last lines -
"The music fills the night time air,|
My tears form pearls amidst your hair.
I hear the wind breathe the final call:"
This here is beautiful wording, and the character in the poem is clearly defines. Beautiful write!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this piece and can't believe I am the first to write a review. After re-reading (and re-reading again) it all seems to be leading and building to that twist at the end. Fairy Tales have a timeless power. Perhaps because we learn them early the impression they make lasts forever. And here, it seems like Cinderella meets Snow White at the Ball. Her desperate attempts to become the beautiful princess fall short and the reality is that Snow White (or perhaps the evil Queen) will always remain the "fairest of them all".

This piece has a little magic of its own ... and you are a very good story teller!


Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on September 19, 2011
Last Updated on September 19, 2011

Author

sivan
sivan

Durban, South Africa



About
I am a student of computer engineering... very technical yes but i like to get lost in the creativity of poetry and writing. Im an out and proud lesbian and if anyone doesn't like that well then that .. more..

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