Ever Unchanging, Unwavering

Fire in the veins tells me to

stop drinking

having past the point of caring

having lost a sense of bearing

I reach out

and I still

grab blindly onto you.

 

I didn't even know you were still here

thought you had one too many beers

and kicked it.

 

Familiarity

a sense of knowing

a sense of belonging fills me up

when I

brush past the air you've been breathing.

 

I've never felt so free in this life, so

unguarded

and yet chained at the very same time

so that I'm breathing

but I'm coughing up yesterday's ash and

tomorrow's resemblance to past encounters.

 

I'm counting my steps back to where you left me

in case you decide to return your grievances

your failure to commit

your fear of forever.

 

I'm standing alone

but you keep touching the surface of your mistakes

as if to try and find a way back in

to retract your words that

meant close to nothing

but the density has changed

and you can't find the weak spot

the place of reconciliation.

 

You never understood-

there is nowhere and nothing

more available to you, than me.