School on Saturdays

things kinda escalate. and things run together, and become the cause of the other. rant-esque

Today, I think I figured it out. I’m lonely. I sit and think of what I’d rather be doing. It isn’t even that I just sit, either. I sit with food in my hand. Or, better yet, I haven’t got food in either one of my hands. But I catch myself sitting. And it’s in that moment I realize how bored I am. I know. I know. I’m too smart to be bored. But at least I realize that I have nothing to do, instead of never realizing that what I’m doing isn’t actually anything. I realize how bored I am and subconsciously, I realize I need something to do. For lack of friends, or other people to go do non-boring things with, I get food. To put in my hand. While I’m sitting. Doing nothing. Or, doing something boring, or lots of boring somethings. I’m lonely, so I eat. Because I’m bored, and because I eat because I’m bored, and because I eat, I am unhappy. It’s really not that I’m miserable. Somedays, alright. It feels like that. But I just have no variety with which to spice up my day. I live a very dark sky of a life, and it upsets me. I’m thinking of placing an ad in the classifieds. STARS WANTED. I’m thinking you should inquire within. I’d give you my number, but I’d really rather you asked for it. I think you’re lovely, but I don’t think you remember my name.