Decisions, Decisions

someone caught between just friends and something else... uhh, reuploading...

My head drapes across his chest

His breathing even and deep

Causing my eyes to close

Ever-present thoughts to

Reestablish themselves

as unfailing pieces of my memory

 

his voice starts

“you alright?”

concern washes through

his eyes

as I open my own

his voice

just the least bit

apprehensive

 

my breath catches

eyes shut once more

the bittersweet perfection

choking me

as I laugh at myself

inside my head

the irony of it all

 

I tilt to face him

“…perfect…”

my eyelids fluttering

as I reposition myself

eyes moving less than an inch

(everyone’s demons have to be faced)

 

I  scream at myself

Through the confines of either ear

Opportunities already passed me by

Grass stains that won’t go away

The pleasant kind

Ones that won’t get off your back

But never for lack of trying

Screw this….

 

I lean into him a bit more

As the same thought whispers

Its everlasting message

…this whole just friends things

….was never going to work out…

(I’m sinking as it is…

the possibility of getting out while I can

is no longer an option…)