R. J. Dennis

NOTICE!: I DO NOT COME HERE ANYMORE! I made top reviewer one time in 2007. I don't know why I'm still on that damn list. DO NOT MESSAGE ME ASKING ME TO READ YOUR WRITING! You'll be wasting both our time.

Hello and thanks for checking out my writing.

Ok, thats about all I got. I have no clue as to what to write for an introduction. All I know is sites like this one usually have them and I enjoy reading them, so I wanted to write one. Wait If I dont know what to write for an introduction, what am I supposed to write about for an entire book? Crap. Ok, moving forward here.

Im a 30-year-old fat, balding, single gay guy, so what the hell do I have to be funny about? Well, a lot of things. For instance, being a 30-year-old, fat, balding, single gay guy. Oh, plus the rest of my previous 30 years of life. You see, most people can get away with having one of those kinds of days where nothing goes right. Or, in the rarer cases, they have a week or a couple months, at most. I, on the other hand, have been gifted with having one of those lifetimes. The kind that makes Murphys Law look like a tea party with Pollyanna and Mary Poppins.

I decided to write a book for three reasons. The first reason being I love to write and to make people laugh, so a book about a psychopathic serial killer of child cancer patients and old invalids was out. Damn. So, after months of deliberation (ok, mere nanoseconds), I finally decided on a book of humorous essays (although a book about a killer of child cancer patients and old invalids would probably make me laugh at least. Yes, I know I am morbid and probably need help, but Im not ready to make some shrink rich and famous just yet). The second reason is I have a face for radio and the voice of a cartoon character, so acting on stage or screen or being on the radio is kinda out for me. And the third reason is Im 30 and all I have to show for it is a geeks-delight DVD collection, a bunch of debt, and a balding head of hair.

Oh yeah, Im living the American dream over here.

If you get a chance, please stop by my site RJDennis.com and say "Hi". It's still being developed, but I do have a few things up, including my blog.

You can also visit me at MySpace.com. Add me as a friend on here and there. I promise I won't bite - unless you want me to...

I learned a long time ago to laugh at myself and find the funny in even the most horric of events. One of my mott's is: If you can't laugh at yourself, laugh - and point! - at the person doing stupider things than you are, which is usually me doing the stupider things.

I hope you enjoy my work.