CrimsonMisery

So.. hello.

i'll assume you're reading this because you came across my profile randomly, since anybody whom i know wouldn't need to read this to learn anything new about me, if they know me enough.

What can i write here?
if you read what i write, it will tell you quite enough about me.
Anything i write is pointless anyways, nothing here matters, it's all just s**t in my mind mixed into my thoughts.
I could tell you basiclly enough;
Thought you probobly could figure all of this out through my writings.

i'm a 15 year old girl, originally from montreal, newly in Quebec City. which i hate.
i've self-harmed with cutting for over two-years, though i've had all kinds of less important self-harming habits for much different time-spans.
i'm a lesbian, only i better like telling people who aren't accepting that i am bi, as it seems much less.. 'terrible', since i can talk my way out of insults much more easily.
I drink, i get high, and i do insane amounts of art, using photography, drawing, painting, sculpting, etc.
I have an irrationally terrified fear of zombies, and if i were to see one, i would f*****g shoot myself in the head right away.
I am fascinated by suicide and states of minds of all kinds of different people, and i always want to experience everything, because i want to know what everything feels like, even painful things both emotionally and physically.
I truly believe, ever since figuring it out at the age of 9, that i shall die at the age of 27. which kind of sucks, i wish i could be able to die sooner..
i always have two states of mindset for absolutely everything. two sides of thought for everything, two different voices and selves in my mind. it kind of brings me to believe that somewhere inside, i have some kind of disorder causing this.
i've been diagnosed with severe depression, and i have attempted/planned suicide on several occasions.
Everything confuses me; i've yet got to understand my life yet, and why i am here.

How do you know any of what i am saying is real?
i'm a fuckup and i belong somewhere else, locked up and alone.[and with my bitter sarcastic thought: hah. i'm already stuck somewhere alone, considered like a crazy person.]