Jet Elway

I enjoy writing quirky humor, which is fortunate, because I probably couldn't write anything involving cool, witty people if I tried. For instance, I could have never written James Bond novels. I could never write a smooth operator type of character, because I'm lucky if I can make myself understood ordering breakfast at McDonald's. I'm a lot better at writing bumbling, clueless, or wildly deluded characters. Unfortunately, that is what I know, from first-hand experience.

None of my stories will ever involve sophisticated social interaction or savvy political maneuvering - my track record in these areas include eating garnishes at fine restaurants and being fired from a job while asking for a promotion. There won't be any suave romantic interplay, as my attempts at flirting in real life were unnoticed, misunderstood, or diagnosed as Tourette Syndrome.

However, if you want wild stories full of improbable characters, then finally you have entered my world. My vast misperceptions, imaginary inner world, and the dysfunctional nut cases I grew up with all swirl together as a backdrop. The half-witted, delusional thinking of my protagonists is drawn from what seemed like good, reasonable ideas to me at some point in my life.

"Write what you know," is the standard advice. Believe it or not, this is what I know.