Write = Get Reviews Forum First Time...

This is my first time posting to any type of writing group. I am trying to get better with short story writing. Here is the first ever story I wrote in recent memory and i just placed it on writerscafe. It's a science fiction type piece. 

If anyone would like to review it and provide some critques that would be great. I just want to learn, get better and who knows...maybe take a crack at self-publishing. 

Thanks,

Tyler