Write = Get Reviews Forum A review/critque please?

Hello!  it needs to be said my story, that it for people age 13 and older as occasionally it has violence, descriptive graphic violence in it, very rarely some swearing.

I ask for a tactful, yet blunt review/critique I need help with everything. My story is Third person limited - present tense, so please help me stamp out words ending with: ing and ed.

If several people complain that the violence is too descriptive I ill cut it out, as I want the story read the graphic descriptions aren't important. the descriptions well I'm new at this, and might have gone overboard? I like the descriptions but if most people don't then  they are taking away from the story. So honest feed back on the story wanted. The first two chapters are lower in violence.

Any one feel like critiquing a fantasy, adventure, horror book? Please let me know if you do! If any one does then please post a chapter of your story and then I'll post mine. Thank you for this forum :)