Underground Writers Network Forum

can anybody plz chechout my stories and review them

Discuss.

I start writing poetry a few years ago, but today is the first time that I have ever posted one my poems online. It's kind scary to what people think about my work. Please review my poems and let me know what you think.

LifeLife is not a straight pathThe path is very bumpyMany bumps of life have me so confusedConfused about whySo many people have an easy life
Their life is perfect and they neverworry about anything
Worries fills my headMy head is spinningaround and aroundThe spinning never stops
I can't stop thinking about my pastMy past is very dark and a scary placeDark and scary place where many secrets are
Secrets about my past are very hard to visitVisiting them makes me very angryAngry with many people's
People's likeMy MotherMy FatherMy StepdadMy ex'sMy FriendsMy Family
I really don't understandWhy these people hurt meand never protected me
They were supposed to protect me from harmHarm is all they caused
A life I wish I could just forgetForgetting is the best for my future
My future is very dark and gloomThe darkness is a place where I don't want to be
I don't want to be anywhere where there is painAll the pain from my past just kills me Kills my relationship with everyoneRelationship with others is very hard for me
It's very hard for me to trust anyoneTrust was damaged from my pastThe past that I just want to forget
Wishing Forgiving was easier thanRemembering the past 
Past cause too much trouble for meThe trouble that I don't want or need
I really need some hope for a better lifeA life where there joy and compassion
Joy and compassion are all I want and need in my life

 This is the first page of my story

Hi, nice to meet you. I hope everyone is having a good day.

Hi, nice to meet you. I hope everyone is having a good day.

Hi, nice to meet you. I hope everyone is having a good day.

I am writing a story on two boys who gets sold into slavery because the boys parents are in debt to the Romans. I want to know if this is a good idea for a story.

If I am not alone how come nobody gave me any reviews. Just try be honest no offence.

The request came from Mr. Blankenship six months ago. He invited us to join him over on Facebook.

I don't do Facebook. Also, as you can see, I really haven't done WritersCafe. In the case of this site, I bailed out because of an adorably sneaky thing management did, that one can see just by visiting my profile. All of the links on my profile are disabled, including the homepage link, so if I post content on this site and send people to it, there will be no link back to the rest of my content. That's a bad deal for me, so I will not post to this site. The place looks more than a little shady, anyway - remember that contest they held after losing everybody's content? The rebirth of WritersCafe or something like that? $200 grand prize for the best story, and many submissions and a few years later, no prize has been given out. They're still "judging."

Facebook is shady in its own way. Watch a video in which Mark Zuckerberg talks about privacy. His comments are appalling, as is facebook's long history of taking personal information which was set to private and turning it public after a site update, forcing members to re-opt out of personal disclosure and violating their right to privacy while they're away. Also, there is the matter of Facebook's habit of arbitrarily suspending accounts with no real working appeal mechanism in place. I've personally known people this has happened to, and judging from the results of a Google search, at least a few million other people can say the same. Classy.

In summary, I get the impression that in general, social networking sites (like free homepage hosting services) suck. They're interesting as a concept, but the people who run them are weasels, almost without exception. I think it's fine that Mr. Blankenship wants to network, but when I try to think of a good place to do so online, I'm at a loss. The ethic I keep running into is one of "let's see what we can get away with", so the best option is to do one's networking offline, where people have to face those they would screw over, and deal with the consequences of their actions.

Print journals seem to be looking for submissions, judging from discussions I've had in the real world, recently. Be brave, get out there and stop dealing with the Internet's bullshit, because what is the payoff for that, in the end?

The request came from Mr. Blankenship six months ago. He invited us to join him over on Facebook.

I don't do Facebook. Also, as you can see, I really haven't done WritersCafe. In the case of this site, I bailed out because of an adorably sneaky thing management did, that one can see just by visiting my profile. All of the links on my profile are disabled, including the homepage link, so if I post content on this site and send people to it, there will be no link back to the rest of my content. That's a bad deal for me, so I will not post to this site. The place looks more than a little shady, anyway - remember that contest they held after losing everybody's content? The rebirth of WritersCafe or something like that? $200 grand prize for the best story, and many submissions and a few years later, no prize has been given out. They're still "judging."

Facebook is shady in its own way. Watch a video in which Mark Zuckerberg talks about privacy. His comments are appalling, as is facebook's long history of taking personal information which was set to private and turning it public after a site update, forcing members to re-opt out of personal disclosure and violating their right to privacy while they're away. Also, there is the matter of Facebook's habit of arbitrarily suspending accounts with no real working appeal mechanism in place. I've personally known people this has happened to, and judging from the results of a Google search, at least a few million other people can say the same. Classy.

In summary, I get the impression that in general, social networking sites (like free homepage hosting services) suck. They're interesting as a concept, but the people who run them are weasels, almost without exception. I think it's fine that Mr. Blankenship wants to network, but when I try to think of a good place to do so online, I'm at a loss. The ethic I keep running into is one of "let's see what we can get away with", so the best option is to do one's networking offline, where people have to face those they would screw over, and deal with the consequences of their actions.

Print journals seem to be looking for submissions, judging from discussions I've had in the real world, recently. Be brave, get out there and stop dealing with the Internet's bullshit, because what is the payoff for that, in the end?

The last forum post I attempted was lost by the system.

Hello, I'm looking for examples of a particular kind of writing, or advice from anyone familiar with it.

I've been told that my writing has a very screenplay-ish feel to it. This is on the subject of creative fiction writing I have done. I know that criticism is spot-on because when I read over my own work, I can see exactly what they mean. Unfortunately, only being told what is wrong with my writing does not help me improve if the way I need to improve remains illusive. My problem is not that I don't know what my problem is, but that I don't know what the solution to it is.

I have asked a number of people to refer me to any books that might help illuminate the solution for me, but none have been able to recommend a single thing. Surely there must be SOME out there which can demonstrate the element I am missing. I have had people point me to books that they like, but when I ask, 'Does this book serve as an example of how to not do the thing that I do wrong?' their response is always, 'No, not really, it's just a book I like.' Obviously just knowing about books that somebody likes is useless because there are so many books and all of them loved by someone and not necessarily any of them will be useful to me just because someone likes it.

I need help learning to write in the way that tells a story without feeling robotic, like a screenplay that merely describes dialogue and sequences of events. It seems to be a necessary component to effective writing, but I am somehow completely oblivious to it and really need an example, just to see how it is done. Could anyone shed some light on this for me? Please, refer me to a book, an article, your own personal experiences, anything at all. I will welcome any advice that may help me make a breakthrough in the quality of my writing!

Hi everyone just letting you know I am starting a new ongoing Comic script series called Giga. Starting of with a four part Prologue hope you enjoy. It will be a weekly series.

Hi everyone just letting you know I am starting a new ongoing Comic script series called Giga. Starting of with a four part Prologue hope you enjoy. It will be a weekly series.

Hi everyone just letting you know I am starting a new ongoing Comic script series called Giga. Starting of with a four part Prologue hope you enjoy. It will be a weekly series.

Hi everyone just letting you know I am starting a new ongoing Comic script series called Giga. Starting of with a four part Prologue hope you enjoy. It will be a weekly series.

Hi everyone just letting you know I am starting a new ongoing Comic script series called Giga. Starting of with a four part Prologue hope you enjoy. It will be a weekly series.

Hi everyone just letting you know I am starting a new ongoing Comic script series called Giga. Starting of with a four part Prologue hope you enjoy. It will be a weekly series.