Underground Writers Network Forum The Bag
The Bag9 Years AgoThis is one of my first short stories. I would love some critiques on it even if they are harsh.
Today is the day" Michael told himself while starring into the mirror. He then finished his morning routine of shaving and making sure he looked good. Afterwards he made his usual morning breakfast of eggs, oatmeal, toast, and orange juice. As he finished his breakfast he checked the time. It was already time for him to leave for work. He put his dishes in the sink. Then headed for the door and as he was about to go out the door he remembered his bag. "I can't forget this" he said aloud. He grabbed the bag and headed out the door. He whistled a happy tune as he walked to his old broke down car. When he got into his car he threw his bag in the back seat. Then he fixed his mirror but before he took his hand off the mirror he said aloud again "today is the day". Then he started his car and headed for his work. As he drove down the road he started to fiddle with the radio stations. He changed the station again and again and finally settled for some pop music station. He then started to sing along with whatever song was on. Before he knew it he was already pulling into his job parking lot. He parked in his usual spot. As he got out of his car his coworkers were already waving and greeting him for the day. He responds back with his chipper smile and wave before closing his door and heading into the building. As soon as he got in the building. One of his coworkers handed him some papers and said "Michael my man can you get this done for me before lunch". Michael then responded "sure Doug I can do that when i'm done i'll give it to the boss". "NO Michael when your done bring it back to me" Doug said. "OK" Michael said then Doug patted him on the back and said "good" as he walked away. As Doug walked away Michael felt weird about that. Then he made his way to the back of the office to his little dark cubical. He then sat down and looked at the daunting stack of papers on his desk. So he put a smile on his face and began to work on the stack of papers. Somehow he manage to finish all the papers before lunch. Doug made sure he picked up his work to turn into there boss. Michael then went to the bathroom where he starred into the mirror again and said "Today is the day". The rest of the day flew by for him. When there was about five minutes left of work he opened his bag to get something out. Then he got up and headed for the front door. When he got there he used what he got out of the bag to lock the door. Then made his way back to the desk. When he got there he took one more thing out of the bag. The rest of the employees were heading for the door. When they got there they were confused at why the door was chained up. Michael then made his way back to the front. When he got there his coworkers did not see or hear him coming. That was until they heard the first shot from his shotgun. It hit Doug first he fell against the glass doors. The other people started to scream but they had no where to run. Michael then opened fire and fired shot after shot. When he was out of bullets there was no one left standing. There was a few left alive but were bleeding out and crying for help. Michael then pulled a chair up and reached into his pocket and pulled out one final bullet. He then loaded it into his gun. Then pointed the gun at his chest and said "Today was the day" then pulled the trigger. |