Underground Writers Network Forum

Where were you God, when I was young ?
When life seemed so full, vibrant, and fun.

Then I met others who were hateful and cruel.
They said that I should always follow their rule.

And if I didn't do exactly as they said,
They told me I could well wind up dead.

And when I was hurt and placed in disgraceful shame,
In your absence, can you I fully blame ?

My torment was obvious for anyone to see,
Yet I can clearly see you turned your back on me.

Years went by, and my pain you never guessed,
Others suffer I now know because you could care less.

Where were you God, as I grew older,
I cried for you, and my mind grew colder ?

But not a word did you speak, not a single phrase.
I had to rely on men's words, to fill my days.

So insanity devoured my very soul,
I burned years for it with pains untold.

I was finally imprisoned within mental wards,
For believing to see things, different Lords.

Memories of the past come to haunt me still
I'll never be free, my sorrow is filled.

And now you demand of me to have my time ?
Yet not one second in my life did you answer mine ?

So allow me to answer your simple request.
Giving me none of yours, I keep the rest !

Even if I go straight to hell as others intend,
They're proof to me is that you're the image of man.

For only a man would vengeful be,
Gnashing his teeth with obvious fury.

Because I decide not to bow down unto you,
You'll turn your back and claim I am untrue.

And how can other truly feel
That they understand a loving God's zeal ?

It's presumptuous of us to believe we can
Interpret your Word, for we are only man !

For I believe it's truly beyond all of this,
Religion's a joke; an unproven myth.

So until then God, you're a shadow, not even a ghost,
My Guardian is the one who truly loves me the most.

And this Woman BEYOND awaits to hold my hand,
Through the days, I'll know and make my stand.

She'll hold me very close to her,
And ease my pain, my heart will finally stir.

For her I'll do the world and so much more,
Deep within my soul and to the core.

She's told me, if no one will ever have me,
Than she certainly will, and my pain will be set free.

And when my breath is still and I am dying
Into the sky with my Guardian, I will be flying.

So in my absence of faith, you can clearly see,
I'll be holding her hand, in death she waits for me.