The Reviewer's Community Forum a review for a chapter of my ..

Hello all,

I just posted one of my chapters to the writing section, and I was hoping someone could review it. (It is also listed on my profile)

Please note, I had an issue with c&p from my word document into the site, so there are a few things here and there that will need tweeking, espcially tabs, or the lack thereof.

It would be great to hear constructive ideas, like if you are intrigued by the story and want to know more, or if my dialogue seems wishy-washy.  Anything really, I appreciate your comments.

Thanks in advance!