The Review Club Forum Discussion for Cameron's There..

This is the place for discussion and respond to reviews for Cameron's There's an American.

Bill-

Thank you very much for your thoughtful review. I'm very glad that you pointed out that the characters weren't sympathetic. This has been something I've been bouncing around in my head. I know on some level I want my characters to be sympathetic, however it really isn't something I strive for. (Ok so this is me being stupid, I'll admit that). But generally I do want them to be realistic. Did you find the characters too stereotypical?

Thanks again for your review,
Cameron

I think stereotyping is very hard not to do in many short pieces. My only problem with Bill is that he would even hang around the other two. Trouble is, to create the shooting incident you need the out of control guy.

Now, it's just me, but I don't even want to be in the same room as someone carrying a gun in her purse for "self-protection," even if I consider her sane. So, to be stuck out in the boonies with a whiskey swigging bigot carrying firearms is unthinkable to me. I would sooner walk across the desert hoping to find a ride back to town than be a minute within a mile of this guy.

Perhaps if a more normal sounding person without the whiskey could be responsible for the shooting, the story would ring more true; for all the Minutemen that have been out, I haven't heard of such an incident, though I recall one where our army guys did shoot to death a Mexican boy herding goats some years back.

But I think this story is not so much about a shooting incident, as about the contrast between a person who hates and a real American, who would serve his country but not out of a nonvirtuous emotion. Perhaps the fellow could be a hateful bigot without the whiskey, who makes a dreadful error because he is simply careless and caught up in the excitement of turning back some illegals.

Everything I've said is just reflection. I wouldn't expect you to rewrite the story on my account. I always wait until all the reviews are in before changing anything unless I'm certain.

Good luck in the contest.

Bill

Thanks to Gabe and Joe for your reviews.

Gabe - Thanks for the review :) I'm glad that it was an easy read for you. I was kind of worried that the main character's bad grammar would throw things off. I didn't really have a word limit, it was mostly that I couldn't see any more scenes in the story. Mostly I wanted to keep the tension up (primarily because most of the story takes place on top of the rise). However it is definitely a good point that I'm going to take into consideration.

Joe - Thanks for pointing out those trouble spots. I really do appreciate it :)

Review in. Hope it helps, Cam.

Rob -

Thanks for the review. I suppose I need to make the theme clearer because my intention wasn't so much to have a story about what it means to be an American, rather than a story about the immigration debate in America. Thanks for pointing that out :)

Cameron