The Review Club Forum Discussion for Anthony's Spark..

This is the place to respond to reviews and for further discussion of Anthony's Spark and Trail, Chapter one, Pumpkin Man

Thanks for the review Kim. I was worried if readers could get that a woman was in the body of William. It's a theme I'm working with of 2 people in different times swapping bodies. I may just have to axe the idea all together. Ahh well it was worth a try. I may just keep her and halve her wake up as a guy and take it form there. Hrmm.. who knows.

It's an interesting idea. Just needs something to clarify it better.

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Thanks a bunch and as always you are a rockstar!

(someone called me one today and for some reason I liked the compliment)

Thanks for the review William.

Dear A.C.,

I see how clear your voice is in your give and take with all of us. I think you would do well to use that natural voice in your writing, as it is so clear and easily understood. Once you begin relating in story voice such clarity as you have in your natural voice you will be better equipped to go for the strange and the gut wrenching, which you do well, though yet without the clarity the reader needs to see all of your vision.

I think if you were to use your present story as notes reminding you what the story should include, but then rewrite it from the beginning with the plan to achieve clarity before all else, you would be satisfied with what you produce.

I think the worst a reviewer can do is not say honestly what he sees on the page. Better to cut the weeds early with honesty, than let them choke the flower altogether.

I am only one voice; please know I am an honest voice who would do right by the writer every time. For I know how much sweat you and all the rest of us put into these works we show each other, and I do not take anyone's effort lightly.

bill w

Thanks for the kind words and advice William. I guess it's all in a days work. We take risks when putting our pens to paper, some pay off and others we pay for.lol THis story is a departure from what I normally write. It has been fun at times. LIke a crossword problem of sorts. I'll continue to tinker with it and who knows what it'll be like in the end.

Wanted to send a thank you out to Leah and Jean.

Wanted to give a big Thank you to C. Rae Sparling, B Billy Curtis, and Loekie, oh and not to forget Mykietown. Thank you for all your great reviews. You guys gave me a lot to think about for revisions. Hope to review you all soon.

Thanks