The Resilient Forum Need To Talk

This post goes with the Bullying/Need To Talk one. I think that I see so many people cutting, so many people contemplating suicide. And not even that, I see so many loners, so many walking through the hallways with their head down, earbuds in, blaring. I see so many kids dealing with so much pain they shouldn't have to face at their age. I see kids in broken homes, with alcoholics for parents, or abusive parents. I see kids joining gangs, doing drugs. I see kids fighting. I see kids getting arrested. I see kids dying. Most of these kids I see are my friends. Not all though. And as I see all of this, I see me. I know I talk about it all the time, but I have a long, dark past. And I see my past, in everything I said I see kids do but dying. I nearly came to that, but didn't do that. I see me, and I see myself wishing that someone would help me, that someone cared. And I see myself now, wanting to find a way to help. So, if you're having problems with anything that is getting you down, depressed, suicidal, any of the things I said above, anything.... Tell me. I'll talk with you. I'm sure others will too. You're not alone. It takes two people to shorten a road. So take that step to the halfway point and trust me that I'm going to help you. 

I agree entirely with what you said, I just think that you'll have to trust me I can help. Some people on here (even though a few of us talked via comments, I won't name names in case they want to remain anonymous) I've already helped, and if you haven't realized from my about me and my writing that I've been there before and that I care and that I can help, well... Then I can't really tell you why you should trust me. Then, you have to figure that out for yourself. Whether it be by deciding or just trusting me, either way. As far as I know otherwise, the only way to know you can trust me is by trusting me here, or by debating it in your head. And as most of us that have been in these situations know, our head can be a very dark place, and as 21 Pilots said in Car Radio, "Sometimes quiet is violent."

Mine is probably not as horrible of a situation as your guys I havent dealt with depression, but I have dealt with going throughout my childhood being stepped upon and bullied. I guess you could say I was an easy target, only cause I was the quiet one. But Ive managed to stick up for myself and work on being a better me. But throughout my life all I have been doing is helping others.. how do you manage to help someone through depression? How can you help them be happy about themselves and actually think they are good enough, that they have always been good enough, theres nothing wrong with them, there perfect just the way they are. They keep thinking there worthless, unwanted, and unloved. How do you get them to think the opposite of that? I try and try to make someone happy and feel good about themselves and than I forget about myself and about my happiness and life. Is it worth it to keep trying to help them? is it worth being there and catching them? is it worth staying up at 3AM and just listening to them until they slowly fall asleep? is it worth going to the ends of the earth just to see them smile and laugh and know that today will be good day for them? is it worth all that energy just to help someone when they dont want to help themselves? is it? I hear there cries for help but whos listening to mine. How can I help them?

  Suvada, I know exactly where you're coming from. A very VERY close person to me struggles with depression and anorexia. I do anything and everything to keep her happy and safe...from hiding notes in her school folders to listening through bathroom doors to make sure she isn't throwing up her meals. I was taking her problems on myself, and soon enough, I was starting to get depressed. I was also starting to hear ED's voice. I quickly realized that you can't take other people's problems on yourself. You can help them and love them, but if it's starting to hurt you...maybe you should take it down a notch. I also realized that while I can keep her happy, I can't make her love herself. That's her desicion, and her desicion only. I let her know that I am here for her and I support her, but she knows that it's her decision. I know I didn't really answer any of your questions, but I hope this helps at least a little. Feel free to talk more, and if you don't want everyone to see it, feel free to message me. 

Suvada, I get how you mean. Yes, it sucks to help someone who won't help themselves because they hate themselves. (I'm a good example.) As for is it worth it to try, even pushing away your own problems and shouldering their own (story of my life, with WAY more than one person, so it gets very overwhelming very often very quick) that is your own personal choice. I can't really influence that nor tell you one way or another. That wouldn't be real. Therefore, you just need to find you, and what you truly feel. Either way, it doesn't bother me what you choose. That's your choice. As for me, I'll continue, because Jesus said love others as he loved us. He won't measure us by the good things we've done for ourselves, but that we've done for others. I've got only decades to help others and help them and make an impression in this world. I've got eternity (with no pain, mind you) to focus on me. Not saying I shouldn't work on me a little, because if I don't I become so incapacitated that I can't help others or myself or do anything but mope around. But for me, I help others way more than I help myself, while hating myself. It's like 96% helping them, 4% me. Anyways, that's just my choice.

Luvs2Write, I understand that too, and there is a very fine line that I have to watch on me, because I'm so others problems and pain oriented (maybe to escape from my own) and that line is exactly what you said: "Maybe when you notice you helping them is hurting you you should take it down a notch," and "You can make them happy, but you can't make them love themselves." I know that second one just by looking at me, and personal experience, yet for some reason I still try to make them love themselves. But that's taking away their free will, so therefore, I can only show them how I love them, and hope that's enough. Thank you, and thank you for once again showing me those lines.

For quit some time now I have been feeling depressed; it happens in a cycle. I start out doing okay for awhile but I start going down hill again; right now I am currently falling into a dark, bottomless hole. I can get out for awhile but then I end up feeling depressed again; each time it feels like my mood worsens. I do go to a counselor who has helped me a little but I have not seen her for 5 months now.

If and when I feel guilt, I manage it by incorporation. Rather than just try to outsmart it, make the feeling guilty for it as part of the reality surrounding it..  Does that echo with anyone?  

Catney, I know what you mean. I know what it's like to be dragged so far down by depression... I think that no one should ever feel that. I'm going to send you an email to talk to you in, and I'm also going to recommend you listen to the song "Gold" by Imagine Dragons to maybe help with happiness and self-esteem, although you may just end up wanting to turn it off.