The Best Group To Get Reviews********************* Forum Letters to You

Epilogue: You walked in and you walked out whenever you wanted, but did you ever once stop to think about what that was doing to me? No I didn't think so, even if you could answer there's no point in asking you, you don't get that right, plus it seems clear that would be your answer anyway... Right? I loved you when I didn't know how to love myself, and I think that only made my love towards you ten times stronger! I don't know why I never meant as much to you as you did to me. I tried to do everything I could to make you happy, make you want me the way i wanted you, i was always there for you. This isn't our story but this is the out come to our story. Our story may make us both seem like terrible people but still its OUR story and a big important part of My life. If you ever read this I hope you remember everything and i wish you'd give me answers... but like always when it comes to you I won't hold my breath. 23:40 Dear you,                Rememeber the first day we met? How we met? The first question you asked? I do, let me refresh your memory. The first day we met was just an ordinary high school  that made my next few years EXTRODINARY! We had the same study hall since the beginning of the school year but we never talked until this day. Like most days I had a study hall in the morning, I would go meet my one friend and we would go hang out in the library until we had to get back to class to sign back in before the bell rang for second period. We were up in the library talking when you interrupted asking: "Do either one of you run track?" We both chuckled and said no, we moved from where we were sitting to sit with you at the table that you were sitting alone at and you explained you were writing a paper for your one class about being a senior and what your highschool experience was like.  We sat around that table talking until it was time to head back to class. When we realized we had the same study hall we walked back to class together, on our way back you had to stop at your locker. That day I learned you had a girlfriend, and at that time I had a boyfriend. The days went on and we continued going to the library together with or without our third friend.  I liked you then but that did not prepare me for the feelings I'd eventually have for you in the years to come. Our other friend was the more outgoing out of her and I, so I just stayed back thinking if you ever broke up with your girlfriend I'd never have a chance anyway because I was just the shy, awkward friend. At one point though we exchanged numbers, not that i thought you'd ever message me... but you did! Oh and good lord I was so happy, I don't know what it was about your ginger hair and freckled face that just made me feel so warm and happy to even know you. The next period after our study together is when you messaged me. You we flirting but I didn't exactly gave in and I reminded you we each had someone, even though secretly I was school girl crushing so hard! You know I love our story but hate it so much at the same time! It still makes me smile and remember the gtreat times and how I felt with you but it also makes me so very sad because I miss you so very much and without my absolute best friend gone theres a giant hole where you should be... at one point you almost had me completley patched up... One day in the library our other friend started rubbing her hand on your leg and you have no idea how devastated that made me because I just wanted you to know how badly I liked you and wanted you!    "I have to block out thoughts of you so i dont lose my head..." Hate Me by Blue October   As the school days started to dwindle down our friendship became stronger and my feelings grew even stronger. You broke up with your girlfriend, I remember you telling me you still took her to prom because the tickets were already bought and she already had her dress. You said you were bored most of the night because she didn't even want to dance and all you did was sit at one of the tables... which sorry but I thought that was kind of funny. You told me that after you graduated you were joining the Marines, I was very proud of you, but also worried and sad. You leaving, actually just you graduating made me sad because i thought that would be the last time I'd ever see or even talk to you again, and somedays I wish that was the case. I guess I should've clarified for all you hopeless romantics that this is no happy ending story, I mean yes in the end I guess we both end up happy but it's not with each other. Sorry for the spoiler, I know the outcome of not having a happy fairytale ending makes me sad too but there's always a silver lining to every bad situation. Please keep reading though, even if at times it just seems like blabber it's helping me except the way things are, the imperfect painful life we all live in our own ways with our bown tragedies. This story isn't about hate, it's about one sided love or at least love gone wrong... 23:11 A.K.A 11:11... Make a wish! Well I guess it's time to get into the main part of becoming us. The beginning was important in it's own way because that's when we met, duh, that's what started this US I keep referring too. I left most of the tiny details out of the beginning because our next few years are so much more! I'm going to actually stop writing for the night because the more I write in a short period of time the more the pain of missing you comes back, but when I get back to writing we'll start a whole new chapter of our lives. So for now goodnight, we'll forever be under the same sky but miles and miles apart by land and soul. 20:30 Okay, well let's dive in. This may be boring for a little but it's still important and it's still what made us. So graduation came and left, that summer I left to go to Texas. As I was waiting for my layover flight I wanted nothing more than to hear your voice, (I was scared, I don't like being in big crowds alone.), but I knew it would be strange to call so instead I texted you but we didn't talk very long.  I don't think we talked for part of the summer. My sister in law, her kids, and I took a trip to Brownwood, Texas to go visit her grandparents. I was pretty bored though because I had no friends in Texas. While wew were there I did find and kill a scorpian and black widow spider, but that was about the extent of exciting things for me. One night as i was watching movies on netflix (like I did most nights there) I had a tab open for facebook, a message notification dinged, and to my pleasant surprise it was... YOU!!!! We talked for awhile that night. We talked about our times and school and how we somewhat missed them, I said something about the time our friend rubbed your leg and you asked why I didn't do you and said that you wish I would've... well thanks if I would've known that then I would've but you know I'm shy.  I think you were on vaction too and I believe you were in New York at a lake with your family. You told me not to be a stranger and to text you. We talked and joked around for awhile until one of us (I forget which one) went to bed. 20:19 The summer went on and we continued talking about everyday. You had a new girlfriend by this time but I didn't care anymore, I wanted you and as long as you were still talking to me thats all that mattered. A lot of our conversations were just small talk and i can't tell you everything we talked about but that doesn't make it any less important.  I remember one conversation though in particular. It was the week my sister was getting married. My sister and law was in from Dumas Texas helping with wedding preparation. Her being their meant my two lovely nieces were their too and I adored them! One morning little miss Mercy ran over to me, I was sleeping on the couch, she yelled happily "Aunt Kenzie it's time to wake up"... it was only 6:30 a.m., I said no but she protested with me then she said "Okay but can i lay with you?" Of course I said yes, she crawled up, gave me a hug, and laid on my chest. A few seconds later she said "okay it's time to get up now" so instead of protesting anymore I just giggled at this sweet little girl and got up like she asked.  I had a message from you so I sent you a morning message and as we were talking I told you that story, from there on out we talked about our nieces and nephews and then we talked about how many kids we wanted. You wanted 4 and I wanted like 1 or 2. I grinned like a little girl all day because talking about kids with you made me fall even harder you, a*s. That whole summer I thought of you, what it could be like if there was an us. I laid up late at night thinking of you and how much I just wanted to be with you. You were a typical boy and wanted naked pictures, I had trust issues but that summer you got my trust and I gave in. As hurt as I was you had a girlfriend I still had hope, I guess sometimes I still do have hope. I know, crazy right? That summer I decided I'd rather be cybered schooled than go back to a school where I didn't have my absolute best friend. Summer ended our talking dimmed down some. As much as I wanted to talk to you everyday I didn't want to bother you so I tried letting you go and see when you'd reach out. Obviously you had a girlfriend and boy did I envy her because that made our talking limited too.  Here's where our story gets good, it was fair time so late Sepetember. You had texted me and asked if I was going, I told you yeah I went every night. We met up on Thursday, we did't stay at fair, we walked up to the garden at the elementary school. That night we just hung out and talked until I got a message from my step grandmother telling me to get home, and you had to go too because your ride was ready to go. 20:46 The next night you messaged me and asked when I'd be at fair, I told you I was only on my way there (I live like 5 minutes away). You said that you wouldn't be there for a couple hours yet. My best friend and I were planning on taking guys back to her house that night so I was just going to invite you back but you said no. I waited for you to get there. You texted me when you got there, I saw you talking to some people and I just walked by you didn't say a word so I assumed you changed your mind about hanging out, but I texted you and you asked why I didn't stop, then you said to meet you up at the garden. We met up at the garden again. I loved these little moments with you. I knew what you had intended to do that night, and in a way I wanted it too but at the same time I knew what it would do to me if I did and I didn't want to make myself fall even harder and I knew I would. We talked awhile, we had more time than we did the night before, it wasn't a school night for me and I already wasn't going home afterwards and this night you came alone. We talked more about kids, you wanted a son and you wanted to name him Tommy after the tommy gun, you wanted a daughter i believe named Rachel. We started getting into the moment of being together alone. You wanted a back rub so I gave you one. You told me a should become a messuse. I also ran my hand through your hair, and rubbed your head. You told me it was so relaxing I was going to put you to sleep so you told me to stop, then you turned around and touched my b***s. We were starting to get into more sexual things for the first time with each other. I was starting to get scared because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and I also knew I'd fall harder for you. I got up off the bench i was sitting on and started playfully running away you ran after me and picked me up, that gave me so many butterflies because I felt so safe and wanted. You carried me to the school wall and pushed me up against it and started kissing me, just typing this is giving me butterflies in my stomach all over again. You went to start taking my shorts off and I said no, you said seriously but playfully "take them off or I'm taking them off for you!" I laughed and did as you said. You laid me down in the grass (now sorry for the little bit of graphics) and we performed oral sex on each other, I was really leary on you eatting me out because I really don't like it but you insisted. I gave you a bit of a blowjob, then we had sex. It was amazing I felt so close to you. We heard voices coming our way so I threw my clothes on real quick, we found out it was just the band players from the football game leaving. We talked a little bit more but not much because you had to leave, you said that having sex with me was the best going away present ever. We held hands until we got to where people could see us then we just walked back to your truck together, we gave each other a hug, said goodbyes, and we went our seperate ways.