Romantics Forum Seeking Opinions...should I ev..

Some random, romantic writing. If you have the time to look through it and tell me what ou think that would be awesome! Be honest and contructive please, please, please. The more I learn the better! Thanks! ((and just fyi, it's unfinished....I just want an opinion for what I have finished so far.)              Elaina Koskeva had seen better days. It felt like everything was on a slant and slowly deteriorating. Leaving the shithole of a town she’d been born in was supposed to help her, but now she was scraping by. Her apartment was a dirty old cracker box and she owned maybe 6 pieces of clothing. In short, it was chaotic and frankly, depressing to be her. But at least she wasn’t dead. Elaina was on her cigarette break. Shivering in the windy autumn day outside Tea House. Elaina had by some miracle held onto her waitressing job for quite a while. She knew they were desperate when they hired her; she wasn’t exactly a “people person”.  At least she was fast, reliable, and smart. But her tips had been especially s****y lately; which was precisely why she’s been making a habit of studying happy people; hoping they’d rub off on her. Only so far, they’d just been pissing her off.             She blew the cancer ridden smoke from her lungs and coughed a bit. She’d smoked for 5 years; since she was 16. But now it was essentially chain smoking; even smoking in place of meals. Elaina snuffed out her cigarette and redid her messy pony tail. She was a tiny thing. Tall enough at 5’6”, but slim and slender at 120lbs. She had a boyish sort of figure with itty bitty a-cup b***s, but wide enough hips and a tiny waist to give her some shape. Her hair was currently to her shoulders and cut in a messy shag with blunt bangs. She’d cut it herself one night out of boredom and had been pleased at the outcome. Elaina was a beautiful girl, but her edgy style and piercings gave her sharpness. More often than not she had on dark eye make-up and a sour puss expression. She remained unapproachable because she was sick to death of getting hurt.             The strange thing about Elaina was that she used to be the nice the girl. The one who laughed all the time and went to parties. But things changed when her older sister died. Graduation was nothing without Nadia and in the 3 years it took to get from 18 to 21, Elaina had transformed into a guarded, angsty girl who chose to wear nothing but black. She sighed and decided it was time to head back inside. Just as she reached for the door, she bumped into someone. “Oh, you know, I am so sorry. I didn’t see you,” the guy babbled. His voice was sweet and nervous. Elaina shook her head.             “Whatever, it’s fine, I wasn’t even paying attention,” She replied. He nodded, his sad, light blue eyes darting everywhere. She raised an eyebrow. He was really cute, but obviously someone with problems. Elaina wondered if people could tell she was screwed up that easily. “What’s wrong with you?” She asked bluntly.             “What?”             “Just forget it, I need to get back to work,” She answered.             “So you work here?”             “Yeah, but I’m not telling you when I get off, so don’t even go there,” She snarled. He swallowed, and smiled nervously.             “Well, no, I just asked because I just got a job here yesterday,” He said back. Now she felt like an a*s. She bit her lip.             “Right,” was all she said before she held the door open. He hesitated. “Well, go!”             “Yeah, sorry,” he babbled, “thanks.” Elaina rolled her eyes. He was a mess. But like she already noticed an attractive mess. He was probably close to 6 feet tall, lanky, and pale with quite a bit of freckles. His eyes were big and his hair was straight and a deep, rich brown. It was in a skater sort of style and he had on a loose beanie and square framed glasses. He smelled a bit like cigarettes, but mostly like really good cologne. She wanted to know his story. Elaina quickly walked back behind the counter, and blue eyes followed.             “Your breaks get longer every time you know,” Her boss, Meg complained.             “I’m sorry, ok? I ran into him, and I had to redo my hair, so whatever,” Elaina argued back. Meg scoffed.             “I see you’ve met, Elaina,” Meg said to blue eyes.             “Yeah, I did,” He answered.             “How unfortunate for you,” She joked.             “What the fu-“Elaina stopped herself, and clenched her teeth for a moment. “So what’s your name, anyway?” She tried, hoping her voice sounded calmer.             “Oh, I’m Ethan,” He answered. It was the perfect name and it almost made Elaina want to smile, but she stopped herself before she could.             “Alright, good, introductions are over, so let’s get to work people. Ethan, come with me, and Elaina, go hit the tables,” Meg directed. Elaina nodded and went back around the counter. Tea House was a moderately sized, casual lunch type of restaurant. It served Tokenese infused Spoare food, desserts, and was famous for its tea and coffee selections. It was busy the majority of the time and had a variety of customers. Elaina liked the food, but she honestly hated working there. But it paid the bills. Barely. There were two other waitresses; Jillie and Selena. Jillie was the drop dead gorgeous, bubbly type with a nice a*s and a sparkling smile, and Selena was an experienced, 25 year old single mom with a charming personality and welcoming eyes. Stiff competition for tips considering Elaina’s blunt persona.             “That new guy’s pretty cute, huh?” Jillie said as she passed Elaina on her way back to the kitchen. Of course Jillie noticed him.             “Yeah, I guess so,” Elaina replied. Jillie grinned and flipped her ruby red hair.             “If you don’t pick him up, I will. Just remember that, k?” She added playfully.             “Whatever. I’m sure he’d prefer you anyway,” Elaina finished. She passed Jillie and went to tend to her new table. She grimaced because the table consisted of two annoying regulars. They were a group of schoolboys. 3 of them. And they were the type who most likely worked with computers and got their asses kicked. Elaina was about to suffer through horrible pick-up lines from a group of nerdy 16 year olds who apparently had a thing for Goth girls. Just as she feared, they grinned as she approached. Jillie always played along with them, but Elaina wasn’t good at that sort of thing.             “Well, hello there my edgy princess,” The sandy headed one said.             “Seriously, Kyle?” Elaina stated. He shrugged.             “She’s right, dude, that was lame,” the dark headed one laughed.             “Alright, can you please just order? I’m not in the mood,” Elaina complained.             “Hey now, we’re supposed to tip you for good service, remember? We can’t give you money just because you’re beautiful,” Kyle proclaimed. The group nodded and grinned. Elaina crossed her arms.             “Ok, well how’s this? Order your food, and I won’t spit in it this time. Now knock off the teeny bopper bullshit and tell me what you want.” Kyle raised his eyebrows.             “Damn, you really aren’t in the mood,” he chuckled.             “Nope. Not in the slightest. My cat died this morning and I just smoked my last cigarette, so chop chop,” She answered dryly. The group swallowed and quickly ordered. Elaina scribbled down their drinks and meals and went back to the kitchen. She stopped dead in her tracks to watch Ethan walk out of the kitchen. His coat and scarf were gone and he wore a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a black tie. It went perfectly with his slim cut jeans and oxford shoes. Elaina felt herself blush. He smiled as he passed her and she dropped her eyes. With her stomach fluttering, Elaina went back to the server room to get her drink orders.             “Look at you. Wow, I have never once seen you blush, Elaina,” Selena said with a laugh.             “Well, I,” Elaina tried to dismiss her red cheeks, “Its nothing. I’m just warm.” Selena winked sarcastically and gave a thumbs up.             “Sure, we’ll go with that. It can’t have anything to do with that new blue eyed freckled guy. No way.”             “Oh shut up, Selena. Anyone would think he was cute,” Elaina snapped, “seriously, Jillie was on me about him too.” Selena laughed and loaded her drink tray.             “Jillie will ask him out by the end of the day, I bet you 10 bucks,” she continued. Elaina rolled her pale green eyes.             “I’m not going to argue that. She’s pathetic.”             “Oh, I know, right? She’s the worst,” Selena joked. Elaina shook her head and filled her drink orders. Before she took them out, she went back to the kitchen to turn in her order.             “Here, Saomi,” She announced, “3 spinach cheese melts with fried spicy mushrooms.”             “Pin it up with the rest. What do I look like? An octopus?” Saomi scolded. Elaina got along well with Saomi. She was smart mouthed and cynical. Good company for someone like Elaina. Saomi was two years older than Elaina and she was the head chef of Tea House. She was half Tokenese but with all the fire and attitude of her Kattareithian blood. She looked like a pixie with her super short platinum blonde hair and sleek figure. Elaina pinned up her order and watched Saomi for a moment. “Thank you, thank you,” Saomi said loudly. Elaina paused at the counter to watch Ethan take a few orders. He was charming and kind. Warm. The type of person everyone loved. Elaina felt her heart pulse. She slipped away just before he came back and then she went to give out her drinks. The schoolboys took the drinks cautiously and Elaina informed them that their food would be out shortly.             The rest of her shift drifted by and before she knew it, it was 5pm. Time to clock out, and catch the bus to the grocery store. Elaina took off her apron and hung it in the employee locker room. She pulled out her back pack and jacket from her locker and slung on her scarf. Just then, Jillie came in, chatting with Ethan and giggling too much. Elaina took that as her cue to leave and brushed past them. Jillie dated everyone. Elaina shouldn’t have been surprised. She punched out, said goodbye to Meg, put on her jacket and left. Just as she got her pace going, who should she smack right into, but Ethan. He must’ve have left out the back door. “D****t!” Elaina yelled.             “I’m really, sorry,” Ethan apologized, “I’m kind of a klutz. I uh,” He paused, just to look at her. Elaina was tense with irritation.             “What are you looking at?” She demanded. He quickly looked away.             “I’m sorry,” he started, “I’ve just never seen anyone with eyes like yours. I mean, with the same color.” Elaina stared at Ethan and he seemed to shrink. “Look, I’ll just go, ok? Sorry for running into you again,” he muttered. Elaina watched him walk away with a lump in her throat. She shouldn’t have been so mean. Feeling bad, she trailed behind him to his car.             “Hey, wait,” She offered. Ethan turned, just as he put his keys in the door. It was then that Elaina noticed the pillows and sleeping bag in his back seat. There was also a pile of neatly folded clothes, a package of paper plates, and a small cooler. She tilted her head. Ethan followed her eyes and blushed. “Are you living in your car?” Elaina hadn’t meant to sound so blunt, but she was honestly surprised. Ethan sighed, but nodded.             “Yeah, for now. I just gotta save up and get an apartment. It’ll be a piece of s**t, I’m sure, but it’ll be better than a 4 door car,” He explained lightly. Elaina looked at him and felt something ache inside of her heart.             “Do you like hot chocolate?” She asked suddenly. He thought for a moment, and then his face lit up.             “I do,” he answered.             “Well, do you want to go get some? You look really cold,” Elaina offered shyly. Ethan smiled.             “Sure. That would be really nice,” he answered. Elaina felt herself smile too. He nodded. “Oh, here. We can take my car. I mean, unless you wanted to take yours or something.” Elaina shook her head.             “No, yours is fine. I usually take the bus, my car broke down on me a while back,” Elaina replied.             “Ok. Well I don’t mind at all. Let me get the door for you,” Ethan continued. Elaina felt her posture straighten. He was so nice. It was weird almost, but in a good way. Elaina slid past him and into his car. Momentarily he got into the driver’s seat. “Hey and I’m sorry it smells like an ash tray in here. I really need to quit smoking,” Ethan half joked. Elaina shook her head.             “I don’t mind. I smoke too. Way too much,” she replied.             “Alright, so tell me how to get to wherever we’re going. I know this place about as well as I know how to fly a plane. I’ve been here like 5 days.”             “It’s really easy to find. Just pull out up here and go straight. Its two blocks up. You’ll see the sign. It’s a bakery but they’ve got the best hot chocolate, I think,” Elaina explained. Ethan pulled out and they found their way to Fiddleline Bakery. Ethan opened Elaina’s door, and she led him inside. It was a small, quiet shop. Warm and smelling sweetly of baked goods and chocolate.             “It’s so cold outside,” Ethan commented with a shiver, “I could stay in here forever.” Elaina smiled.             “I love to come here,” She answered, “even if I just sit inside.” Ethan nodded.             “Yeah, well it smells amazing too,” He added, “Too bad I don’t eat sweets anymore.” Ethan was obviously outgoing, but Elaina sensed he had to try hard to be that way. There was a lot of pain in his eyes. He seemed soft hearted, but she had a feeling it was more than that. They stepped up to the counter and Elaina ordered for them. She pulled out her money for the 2 hot chocolates and Ethan reached out to stop her. “I can’t let you pay for me, that’s uh-“             “Trust me, I’ve got it,” Elaina insisted gently. Ethan smiled at her.             “Thanks,” he told her.             “No problem,” she said back. They waited for their cocoas and when they picked them up, they went to sit down at one of the tables. Elaina rarely spent money, but the drinks were cheap, and she felt good about the situation. She never went out anymore. Especially not with people like Ethan. She sipped her hot chocolate and felt the warmth enter her body. It wasn’t overly sweet, but rich and smooth with the perfect touch of cream. Elaina wasn’t big into sweets, but she’s always loved hot chocolate. Ethan took a drink of his and grinned.             “Wow, that’s like really really good,” He enthused. Elaina nodded in agreement.             “I love it. It’s so creamy. Plus it tastes like real chocolate, not some crappy powder.”             “Agreed. Hey, you know, thanks again.”             “Sure,” Elaina answered. “And sorry for being so rude, earlier. It’s something I’m working on.” Ethan shook his head, and gestured with his hand.             “It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” he said lightly. “I’m sorry for getting in your way,” he laughed.             “It’s ok, you can stop apologizing for that, alright?”             “Ok, deal.” They drank their hot chocolate and maintained a good conversation. Ethan was really great at talking and he was also very funny. Elaina felt like she never laughed anymore and so she was surprised when Ethan got that reaction out of her.             “So what made you come to Clocke anyway?” Elaina asked.             “Lots of things. Mostly I just figured I needed to get away. So far I’ts working out great,” He joked. Elaina laughed.             “It’ll get better. You’ll make plenty of tips,” Elaina reassured him. Ethan shrugged.             “I hope so. I’ve got a lot to save up for. But I guess, who doesn’t, right?”             “Very true, because I’m in the same hand of cards. You know it’s kind of funny, I’ve got an apartment, but you’ve got a car. We both have what the other needs I guess,” Elaina conversed. She realized that the last part sounded a bit strange, but she chose not to focus on it.             “Hey well anytime you want or need a ride, I can give you one. I don’t mind at all. I’m sure the bus gets old,” Ethan suggested.             “It does. The bus sucks,” Elaina laughed. Ethan laughed back. They kept on chatting for a while longer. More time passed and before they knew it, the sun had set and it was 7 o’clock. “I can’t believe it’s been two hours. I haven’t talked that much…ever,” Elaina admitted.             “I talk too much,” Ethan teased himself. Elaina shook her head.             “No, you’re really great to talk to,” she said softly.             “So are you,” Ethan replied. They looked into each other’s eyes for moment and Elaina knew both of them felt a spark. She dropped her eyes to her hands and felt Ethan stand up. “C’mon, I’ll take you home, ok?” Elaina looked up at him and nodded.             “That sounds good.” Ethan walked her back out to his car and helped her in again. When he got into the driver’s seat she laughed.             “What?”             “Do guys really do that anymore? Hold open doors for girls?”             “I do,” Ethan laughed. Elaina smiled and it was genuine. She watched Ethan’s face light up and she felt herself blush. They looked at each other again and Ethan started up his car. Elaina directed him to her apartment building and when they got there, she let Ethan walk her upstairs. She was a little ashamed of where she lived, even though she knew that was silly. They reached her door and were surrounded by the pale glow of her porch light. “I’m really glad we did that, Elaina. It was great,” Ethan offered.             “Yeah, it was,” Elaina replied nervously. She stopped to think for a minute as she looked at him in his coat. He still looked cold to her and she almost couldn’t bear the thought of him sleeping in his car. So she stepped out a bit and did something she would never do because there was something about Ethan. “Alright, this is going to sound crazy, but, if you want to, you can sleep on my couch tonight. It’s really cold out here and I think it’s supposed to rain all night. You’re going to freeze out there in your car,” Elaina tried. Ethan looked at his feet and then back up at her. His face was so kind.             “You don’t have to worry about me, Elaina,” Ethan said, “I’ll be fine. I’ve got two sleeping bags and another coat. You barely know me, I’m not gonna make you have me stay.” Elaina shook her head quickly.             “Ethan, you’re not making me do anything. Trust me; I am not that type of girl. I do what I want. Which turns out bad for me most of the time, but this is something different. Please, just come inside. I won’t be able to sleep if I know you’re out there,” she pleaded. Ethan smiled, and bit his lip. “I’m serious, ok? It’ll really piss me off if you don’t do it,” she continued a bit more harshly. Ethan watched her for moment before he nodded and reconsidered.             “Alright, but just for tonight,” Ethan decided. Elaina felt her heart leap and she knew it showed on her face. She let Ethan in and immediately wished she would have cleaned up her apartment. It was messy and unorganized.             “S**t,” she muttered under her breath. “This place is a disaster, I’m sorry. I don’t really clean. But, there’s nothing too bad in here. Hold on, just stay right there, let me clear off the couch for you,” Elaina babbled sheepishly. Ethan watched her clean and couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. Once Elaina moved all the books, magazines, and assorted throw blankets, she was satisfied enough to invite Ethan to sit down. “Ok, there. And don’t worry its safe. I’m going to light some incense.” Ethan sat down and took off his coat. Elaina put an incense cone in her burner and lit it with trembling hands. She felt her stomach growl and quietly dug for a take-out menu. It was risky to spend more money, but she’d skipped her trip to the grocery store and she knew she didn’t have anything to eat in her fridge or cupboards. She found one for a Tokenese place and took it out to Ethan. “I don’t know if you’re hungry, but I’m going to order something. I don’t have anything to eat around here, so, does Tokenese sound good?”             “Oh, thank you, but I already ate today. I’m fine, plus with that hot chocolate and everything,” Ethan replied quickly.             “Are you being modest again? Because I really don’t mind ordering for you too. You get a lot of food at this place for cheap,” Elaina said back to him. Ethan seemed nervous now and he shook his head again.             “No, really, thank you, but I’m not hungry. Just get yourself something,” he insisted. Elaina thought it was strange, but she decided not to push him. She barely knew him after all and maybe he really wasn’t hungry.             “Alright, well do you want some water or something?”             “Water is great. Oh and, do you want me to smoke outside?”             “You can smoke in here if you want, I do,” Elaina replied.             “Ok, thanks.” Elaina went to get him a cup of water and get on the phone to order her food. She watched him smoke while she ordered and wondered if it would be stupid to bum a smoke. She was fresh out and a long drag sounded really nice. She finished ordering and brought Ethan his water. “Thank you. Hey, do you want a cigarette? I don’t mind sharing” He offered. Elaina sighed with relief. Perfect. She didn’t even have to ask.             “Yes, please. I’ve got to buy some more tomorrow.”             “Are menthols ok?”             “Yes, I smoke menthols too. Thank you, my head is killing me,” Elaina said. Ethan nodded and handed her a cigarette and his lighter.             “No problem.” Ethan seemed tired and Elaina was really glad he’d agreed to come in. Suddenly she heard the rain starting outside.             “I knew it was going to rain,” she commented.