Lonely Writers Blog Group Forum My nephew tried to kill himsel..

Yep, you read that right.  My hubbie went away on Thursday to stay with my brother-in-law and my one of sister's, Diane came and stayed with me.  It's actually been nice havng her here for a change too.

 Anyway, on Friday we are just getting ready to take a slow walk up town, (it would be slow since I walk with one walking stick and she walks with two, we make a right pair!)  when I get a phone call from my other sister, Carmen.  I have to get to her house fast because her son has taken an overdose, and phoned her to tell her.  She is up town, and I don't live that far from her house.  Needless to say I am pretty upset now, and frantic to get around there as fast as possible.  Diane insists on coming with me, which is good, I may need the support, but between us, we walk so bloody slow!  Neither of us has a car, and we can't drive anyway.

  SO the two of us, two crippled fat women, start rushing up the hill and over the field, ( anyone who saw us would be forgiven for laughing, cause we must have looked bloody funny!) dreading what we are going to find when we get there.  Thankfully the front door is open, so I can just walk right into the house, and I find him on the sofa, lying down.  He's 19, nearly 20 years old, but he's a skinny little lad.  I drag him off the sofa, and make him stand up, being pretty ruthless with him, because there is no way I am going to let the little s**t just lay there and die on me!  Thankfully, well kind of anyway, he has relised what he has done, and regrets it, which is why he called his Mum, and called an ambulance for himself too.  Of course he is not happy with me dragging him up, and making him stand, but I don't really care.  He wants to lie down and go back to sleep, but I won't let him, no way!  I make him sit up and drink loads of water.  I find the tablets packets and put them up for the ambulance men when they arrive, which isn't long, thank goodness! 

Carmen arrives, just as the ambulance does, and we tell them as much as we can.  Shane is also starting to talk to them too, though he finds it hard to stay with us, so it's a good sign when they leave for the hospital.  He was in hospital over night because his heart rate is too erratick, (s**t I can't be bothered to look up the right spelling for it!)  but he is finally let home today.  But he still talks of doing it again, says he didn't do a good enough job of it!

I mean, for f**k sake, doesn't he care!  I know how easy it is to end your life, and what it feels like to be there, but it doesn't stop me being angry with him.  He is just a lad, he has so much to live for!  But he just wants to throw it all away, over a f*****g girl no less!  His girlfriend split up with him after they had been seeing each other for a year.  Oh, God, am I so f*****g selfish that I am so angry with him?  I should feel for him because I know how he feels, having been there so many times before in the past, and even this last week, but all I feel is anger.

This week has been s****y enough anyway.  I had to go back to the doctors myself and they doubled my dose of anti-depressants and put me on aniexty pills, diazapam.  I just felt so depressed I wasn't thinking straight, I was thinking of doing the exact thing he has done.  Maybe that's why I feel so angry?  Because I see in him, myself?  But he's just a f*****g kid!!  That is what I can't get past, he is so young, and he just wants to throw it all way.  I know he is having a hard time, because he is trying to get himself off drugs, Catamine (not sure if that's the spelling, but you get it anyway)  and I blame that for it as well.  It isn't easy for him to break free of it, but he has been trying, then his girl friend splits up with him, and he just goes over the edge, and I feel guilty because I didn't bring him back, and Carmen feels bad, because he is her son, and she feels like she should have done more.  Diane says it was more of a cry for help than a suicide attempt, because he phoned Carmen and the ambulance after he did it.  But what help can you give someone that doesn't want it? 

Oh bloody hell, I've done it again, another moaning blog!  Sorry guys, I always seem to be doing these!  I'm done with it now.

I'm not sure how the legal system is over there, but I know over here, if you try and kill yourself and fail, the court will FORCE you to get some help.  Firs they'll keep you in the hospital for several days to make sure you don't try it again as soon as you get out, then they MAKE you go to counciling or go to a rehab center.  Since it's illgal to attempt suicide, that's their way of imprisoning you, since actually sending you to a prison would be a bad thing.

Oh my goodness! There must be a difference in hospital procedures between here and there. If someone goes into a hospital for attempted suicide they're treated and brought back to health...and then slapped with a 72 hour hold and thrown into the psych ward for further treatment and therapy. They aren't let go again until the hospital decides they're at least kinda stable and set up with an outside therapist. I was in on a 72 hour hold last year (nothing to do with suicide actually, just my mom being nutty) and I met two wonderful people there that were originally brought in from suicide attempts. Their forced stay there really did help them and they're both still in outside treatment programs and getting better every day. I can't believe hospitals there would just treat him and send him home if he's still talking that way. Plus, in the psych ward they could have helped him with that Ketamine addiction.

I think we've all been at that point at some time in our lives, it sucks a lot. And there really is nothing that can be done for anyone in that situation. People have to sort things out for themselves. Generally speaking, a therapist, or help hotline is a great tool in the sorting process, but in the end it has to be something everyone works out on their own, because the demons do not lie anywhere but inside themselves. And, at least for me, family was the last source I wanted to tap for help.

I hope everything turns out okay for you and your family. If you ever need an ear (or eye...whatever), mine are available any time. Well almost any time...the antichrist has some time demands.

Hah! Great minds think alike...and apparently at the same time. Very nice David!

I'm so sorry about your nephew! Sometimes life gets in the way and drags us down so far. I'm glad he had the sense to regret it and call for help and I hope this serves as a lesson that he has people who care deeply for him - if he didn't his mother would have ignored the call and you wouldn't have hiked all the way there. My prayers will go out to him in hopes that things get better.

I do hope things go better for you as well! Doctors suck sometimes, don't they?

Thank-you all for your wonderful support.  I really am amazed at how many wonderful friends I have found on this site.

I may be away for a week or more, because my power lead to my lap-top is broken and not charging it up, but I want you all to know, I will not forget the support and friendship I have found here, and that you have given me through this time.  I will be back in a few weeks, so please, send any mail and read requests and I will try my best to catch up when I return.  XX

You take care of yourself :-) We'll be here when you return (and maybe not inundate your read request box haha)

I'm sorry to hear that. Life is so short, and though it's really hard sometimes, we need to remember how fleeting it is. Maybe this will be a big wake-up call for him...maybe it was just the kick in the butt he needed and now he will try and be happier and more positive? Obviously he didnt really want to die...I think sometimes we just feel so helpless and hopeless it overwhelms us and we feel like nothing will ever be okay. But that isn't true. You mentioned you felt like suicide yourself, and I really hope you don't mean that. It is the cowards way out--and Im not saying that to be a b***h, but from what I know of you, you are not a coward! And..suicide impacts everyone who loves you...it's not fair to do that to people you love, you know?

Please write us all when you are feeling bad...message me.....OK? I have been there and I can try and help you get past that feeling of momentary insanity! Just dont ever feel like it's the only option you have--because it isnt. Life has so many ups and downs....when you least expect it,  you will be surprised with more ups than you ever thought..so hang in there ok?

Im always here for you, and I mean that sincerely.

Chrissy~~~

Oh Honey.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.  My daughter od'd on pills (and didn't make it).  I know what a helpless feeling it is to be around that insanity.  I'm glad that you got to him in time. 

Oh, my!  Yvonne, I am so sorry to bring those feelings back for you when I wrote this thread.  I am so sorry you lost your daughter that way.  It is such a waste of a precious life.  Thankfully, he is seeing a councellor now and also moving away to stay with my brother for a while.  We are hoping the time away will get him away from his 'mates' that keep him on the drugs.  Also it gets him away from his ex-girlfriend who keeps showing up to see him whenever she needs someone to hold, or have sex with!  Honestly, some girls these days just don't care. 

girl you're angry because you know what he's going through and youve been there before. just be there for him. let him know that he can come to you for adivce when he needs it. its really all you can do. and pray that God can give him the strenght to get through it and come out stronger than he was when it all started. hope this helps you. sorry to hear about your doctors visit.