It Is What It Is... Forum Surviving Times of Pain

Hello everyone.  As promised I will start this thread.  When I have had to deal with pain and/or overwhelming emotional circumstances, the first place I turn to is of course my pen.  However, it is also through the unconditional support of friends and family that I have been able to resiliently bounce back.

We as humans are not meant to go through difficult times alone, and although it is not the easiest thing for me to do, I have found that leaning on my loved ones for encouragement has indeed been the quickest route to recovery.  We are social by creation, and hopefully loving by birth.  The fact that each and every one of us also expresses ourselves beyond what is average shows that we are indeed possessive of what it takes to be resilient as well.

I would like to figuratively put forth an open and loving hand offering my unconditional support.

When my daughter died, I was devastated and when my mother died I was even more so.  I felt lost and without a home.  While going through my divorce, I again felt homeless and for a time even heartless.  It was through my family's support that I found neither my home nor my heart went anywhere...I merely lost sight of them for a moment.

I don't know many of the writers here very well, only through your writing...but I would like to let each and every one of you know that here, in our group, we can indeed become an extended group of family and close friends.

I do hope that we all use it as such.

Hugs to all of you!!!

Susi

Though I am far from the expert on this subject as I tend to submerge myself in my pity until forced to take another route I have found my most favored other route is to lean on family and friends.... I cannot face a hard time of pain when noone is there to help me through it... at times it may take years for me to do this but it almost always comes to the same conclusion... Mother is best to heal any pains... from the boo boo of a three year old to the broken heart of a woman and the tears cried for our own children.... My mother has always been there for me and I know I am very blessed in this but other ways to find comfort include: music, I find myself more able to find a solution to a problem or healing in pain from the words and melodies of a uplifting song... And reading sometimes when you read you can find just what you need in the words....

 

But above all else in my oppinion is writing it out... you know the soul wrenching outpouring of feeling, no holds barred, anger, pain, tears, and blood flowing through your veiens into the pen and spilling onto the paper with no heed of the outcome I can't tell you how many tear drenched poems have poured out of my soul and onto the paper.... the night my granfather died I didn't sleep, I wrote and I wrote and I cried while I wrote and at 5 in the morning when my tears and ink had dried up and there was nomore emotion left in me I slept for hours and felt at peace so If I was to suggest to a writer the best way to heal their hurts it's to write about it....

Yet without words to speak, my mind is wandering...soon, hopefully aching to release. My head is pounding and I'm here.

funny.. pain..
it comes in different forms and excerises its' will upon us in different ways..
i can't say for sure what my most painful experience was, but right up there
would have to be when i got sober. i had been drinking and drugging basically
all of my life. i got married when i was 30 and had been married for almost
4 years. my wife and i had difficulties and i had moved out and in with
a friend of mine.

i woke up one morning, without a job, sleeping on a couch, with no idea
of where my two young stepdaughters were, how my wife was doing (not speaking
to me), and basically had nothing. nothing. i thought to myself, what the
hell am i doing? i'm just not going anywhere, i'm all alone now, and i've
isolated myself from the rest of the world.

from those who love me nonetheless.

i felt so empty inside. so much despair. nothing was worth anything anymore,
least of all my own soul. i had managed to carve out nothing but misery for
myself and those around me. tired of the glass that spoke to me, i turned off
the tv and decided to do something. i called a hotline, and i went to a hospital.
they talked to me and told me what i needed to do. so i started going to meetings.

as i was going to these AA meeetings, my wife still wouldn't talk to me.
i tried manipulating her to get her back, but she would have none of the sort.
all my life i had just wanted ONE girl to call my own, and i had blown it.
i felt alone. so alone.

so i continued to go these meetings, and they weren't doing much for me.
i wasn't drinking or drugging, but i wasn't getting anywhere. these people just
seemed to be a bunch of friggin' whiners. i was going nowhere with my own soul.
so i took a suggestion and went to a CA meeting. this was drug oriented and
right away i knew i fit in. people there were hardcore and talking about their
runins with the cops, screwing people over for their drugs, and manipulating
people to get what they wanted.

i met a guy there that night, and i talked to him after the meeting. i could
relate to everything he had to say. he agreed to be my sponser and talked
me through things to get the life that i never had.

over a period of time, i got my wife back, i got my girls back, and i created
a real life for myself. i now have been sober for 14 years..

not one drink..
not one drug..

the reason i told this story is this..

i've always felt like i was misunderstood by my family. they have old ways and they
don't really live like i do. i'm close to them, but in love only. not in any sort
of relationship way. after meeting my friend, i met others, and i found myself being
enlighted and encouraged by their stories of strength, hope and courage.

when you're going through pain..
your source of comfort can come from an unexpected source..
always be open.

eh.. hope that was something.

Thank you for that my friend.  I know that pain can be an indicator and yes, even at times, an unseen blessing.  I know that from first hand experience.  As a matter of fact it is your words here that have penetrated me deep enough to write my piece on fear. 

Hugs,

Susi

I have so much I wish that I could say about this subject.  The cessation of pain is a lifelong struggle for us all.  The elimination or, at the very least, the limiting of suffering in our lives and the lives of others is our most worthwhile pursuit.  The problem for me, personally, is that in that, this moment, moment pain is so all encompassing and debilitating.

Now, for example.  I feel anathema.  Nothing is wrong and yet everything is wrong.  It's probably just me having a bipolar moment but the feelings and thoughts cause me to turn inward.  It's up to me to decide what to do about it.

I'm trying to learn what HH The Dalai Lama says about it.

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to BE happy... practice compassion."

Love and light, dear ones.

~ Jodie