Finding Truth Forum What would women do in this si..

I was just thinking of a particular premise for a novel, but I'd be interested in hearing what some women might do if they were in this situation. Consider it research for the book. If you'd like to chime in, I'd really like to hear what you think, so please feel free to add your comments.

Here's the scenario: suppose you are a married woman. You could be married for any length of time (however, if you wouldn't mind, please mention in your comments what you're imagining), whether newlyweds or years. Now suppose inexplicably, your husband stops making advances towards you in bed. Whatever is the normal frequency you might engage in sex, it suddenly, abruptly, stops. What would be your reaction? What might you suspect of your husband?

Would you suspect he's having an affair? Would you blame yourself somehow? Would you try to get back at him in some way? I'd like to know!

If you reply, you have my many thanks, and if it works out, you could indirect influence this piece I'm working on...

Thanks!

My initial thought would be that it is something about me that he no longer wants, whether it be my looks or my personality. It would make me think that I am the one that is causing this initially. Only after trying to test the waters by dressing up more or trying to make myself more appealing and he still denies me would I even begin to assume that he is cheating. For me it is never in your best interest to automatically assume it is cheating when it could very well be something small.

it is really hard to answer this question with no backstory ... if you're using it for a novel, i guess you would look at what you want to say about the situation - why does this question interest you? is it because you question your own response? is it because you feel most women would have similar responses based on the roles and expectations in society? looking deeper into it, what do you want to illuminate for your character, for your reader ... not that a novel should be a lecture but it should be an experience ... there should be something learned or changed in the main character, at least, within the time span of the novel ...

if you think about the character you are creating, her reponse will be influenced, not only by the current situation, in this case her husband no longer making advances toward her, but by her past ... what she has experienced, what she believes, how she was raised, what opinions she has formed, how she sees herself, how she sees others (in general, and men and women specifially) ...

personally, i can't imagine a husband inexplicibly (i think that was the word you used) stopping making advances ... anytime someone does something, there are usually events that one can see, at least in retrospect, that give you an idea of why they might be doing something ...

also, does this woman make advances herself or is she only on the receiving end of advances?

if this were to hypothetically happen to me, and my own advances were either rejected or i didn't make my own advances ... i would ask him about it ... you know, what's up with that?

i would not be likely to assume that he was having an affair or that i was somehow suddenly undesirable ... and if it turned out that either of those were the reason - it would still have nothing to do with me - it would be his issue ... of course, i'm of the ilk of those who do my utmost not to take anything personally because i truly believe, no matter what anyone says or does (good or bad), whether someone likes me or hates me, thinks i'm fabulous or a jerk, thinks i'm hot or i'm not - has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them and their own issues and fears (or their own desires and preferences whatever the case may be) ...

i know i asked more questions than i answered here - but i hope that helps ... i'm all about the questions ... good luck ...