Fantasy Voyages Forum Desperate for a little help

I've been working on this story for a little while. It's my first attempt at a story. I'm need of some feed back. It's called The Birthing (I don't know why I named it that but I guess because, right now, it reminds me of labor and labor pains). As of now it's in three installments.

What I've noticed it folks are willing to review poems because they are quick and easy. I don't blame them but it's hell if your looking for feed back from a story your writing. I have to remember, though, it is the net, most people have the attention span of a gnat when it comes to the net, including me. But I'm beggin' for a little feed back. So if anyone wouldn't mind poking around and reading the first three installments of The Birthing, I'd be deeply grateful.

Thank you!