Dextennis 
Forum 2023 hard court season
Event XXVIII Round IV1 Year Ago22 November 2023  Est. 19 November 2021 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ Working to outclass an elite eight Long
flight, train ride or road trip ahead of Turkey Day? Visit
tennis.dex/watch for exciting live matches, electrifying highlights,
intriguing interviews and more extensive coverage of Dexterra's national
pastime that will make even the longest trips zip right by. Churning out an assortment of salubrious sweet sixteen icings on a Division II-tiered tennis cake, some of the most ravenous Beagle appetites aching for championship fulfillment at The Thanksgiving Open 2023 may instead soon find their heads on a quarterfinals platter. Spectators nationwide to these apples of our sports-focused eyes are finding it increasingly difficult to look away even as this Friday, 24 November, marks the start of a four-day Thanksgiving weekend that will begin with the busiest travel days of the year and end on what is expected to be a gleaming Gold Monday. The National Transportation Council estimates that - as per Thanksgiving usual - airports, train stations and roads will be packed with record travelers starting today, 22 November, thanks to federal laws on vacation time that encourage workers to take extra days off around major holidays, while people on universal basic income are always on holiday. Fortunately for those enduring layovers, traffic or their in-laws, live coverage of tantalizing Thanksgiving quarterfinals will brighten the entire nation with rabid racquet hogs sweating to bring home at least the final four strips of title bacon. In a nutshell, many moreish storylines are continuing to ripen after the most recent sweet sixteen: the races for year-end number 1 appear on the verge of going completely bananas with each star in contention remaining as cool as a Palmeras cucumber, the Native Uprise has been dealt further blows though remains far from hamstrung with two Indigenous newcomers still muscling on in singles and half of all singles quarterfinalists, in fact, are sampling their first career elite eight. As well, a fine selection of 'where were you when...' moments in sports history have also bore immortal fruit, such as Native newcomer Cooper Woolridge saving two match points to come back from down a set and a break to sadden Serenity Petersen 6-7, 7-6, 6-4; to ever-shining diamond Michael Loy kicking it into maximum hyper-overdrive to school Ulysses Bliss 7-6, 5-7, 6-2; and top doubles bananas Hillary Dunn/Ellen Whitehead breaking serve down 3-5 in a dicey second set - delayed by literally party-pooping wild turkeys - to ultimately cage Trent Wolf/Dominique Powers 4-6, 7-5, 6-4. Now with an even more exhaustive elite eight picking up steam for the Thanksgiving gravy train, the final three rounds of this second-to-last tournament of 2023 are sure to be a treat for all Beagles and all Dexters slurping a hard court cup runneth over. In a season famous for a wide range of age-old traditions that vary across the nation, Dextennis are pleased to dust off a quarterfinals tradition and attempt to foresee the future of pivotal Thanksgiving quarterfinal clashes with the assistance of an ancient mystical oracle: the magic 8-ball. Cooper Woolridge vs. (8) Camille Fletcher: on the heels of multiple jaw-dropping upsets especially those over top 10- and top 5-ranked giants, the Native Uprise has produced the first two Indigenous athletes and first two newcomers to reach a quarterfinals in Dexter sports history, one of whom must now prolong his miraculous and uproarious performance over the Jungle champion and former number 1 in her third elite eight of 2023. Will the goose finally be cooked for a lionhearted Lakota warrior on a mission to overthrow these rankings elite, though he certainly promises to swing for every last point against one of the grass season's toughest wildlife - who already buried two Thanksgiving newcomers? A magic 8-ball says: 'Yes definitely,' so Dextennis predicts Fletcher in 3 (1) Hillary Dunn/Ellen Whitehead vs. (8) Jonathan Powell Jr./Lyndon Lowery: one match away from clinching not only the number 1 ranking but also their seventh consecutive semifinals, the Jungle and Halloween champions have already eaten records for breakfast throughout an astounding 2023 performance, destined to go down in history even if they soon slip on a Thanksgiving banana peel. Into another casual Tuesday morning they call the quarterfinals, neither of these doubles juggernauts are actually breathing easy, though set to duel two peas in a grass specialist pod who struggled to gain a foothold during their dominant surface season. Could this really be as much of a shoe-in for the top doubles chefs as much as anxious fans and commentators gobsmacked by history pray to witness, despite both of them publicly recognizing their challenger's potential to finally net a long-awaited breakthrough? A magic 8-ball says: 'You may rely on it,' so Dextennis predicts Dunn/Whitehead in 2 Cheyenne Falcon vs. Nicholas Blevins: a historic summit pitting two freshman quarterfinalists and straight-'A' Athletics majors, the Native Uprise has sent the second of its last two remaining pupils to exam an exceptionally red-hot longtime tennis mainstay, both of whom have toppled several seeded Open behemoths on impressively unstoppable runs to this entry-level elite eight. But could such a megalithic career launch next climb into the semifinals stratosphere to sunlight for Indigenous peoples at least one representative in the furthest tournament heights, though she will be doggedly pursued by one of the sharpest birds of tennis prey also coming of age in this hard court hatchery? A magic 8-ball says: 'Don't count on it,' but Dextennis predicts Falcon in 3 (3) Scarlett Dyer vs. (11) Michael Loy: two Independex singles champions, international delegates and former national number 1s have crossed paths in what fans and commentators are calling the Battle of Hell and Heaven. The 2nd Independex dark lord has so far played absolutely lights out as the Open 3-seed, outscoring opponents by a 3 to 2 game ratio with dozens of smoldering aces, blurry backhand winners and heat-seeking lobs while telling every fan, reporter and available microphone to have a terrible Thanksgiving. Determined to win the title and once again rule as number 1, she must now possess one of her darkest tennis hours ever to exorcise the 1st Independex champion turned Halloween champion, the only ray of national tennis light to have been blessed with both the world and national number 1 lordship. Must Nature Heights now batten down the semifinals hatches for one of the nation's most diabolical and menacing revenge tours since the year erupted with the Queen of Mean's sudden rise to fame, unwilling to let even he who wields her coveted jack-o-lantern trophy stand in her wicked, wretched way? A magic 8-ball says: 'Yes,' so Dextennis predicts Dyer in 666 (4) Dane Strong/Dorothy Booth vs. (5) Serenity Petersen/Jaime Green Jr.: the two highest seeds to mash together a Thanksgiving food fight may offer the semifinals a truly magnificent survivor armed to the mouthpieced teeth. Possibly epitomizing the elite eight, Boardwalk doubles champions and former numbers 1 will wash ashore with 2nd Independex finalists turned first-ever grass specialists to reach a grass semifinals, with the latter also the remorseless, anti-hater vanquishers of the last Indigenous doubles team standing. Both of these top 5 superstar duos were also victims of earthshaking upsets that rocked the Halloween opening round, but only one can finesse a final four resurrection that itself could ultimately reenliven championship dreams. Might one of the most watershed and seemingly ironclad doubles divers be on the cusp of once more spelunking into the final fourthest depths, though sure to somehow have their breaths taken away by two equally resurgent grass sharks smelling blood in these elite eight kilometers of Open water? A magic 8-ball says: 'Without a doubt,' but Dextennis predicts Petersen/Green Jr. in 3 (2) Julian Hull vs. Hunter Best: the Boardwalk singles champion is now wading within two victories of returning to singles number 1, but while the King of the Deep has yet to drop a Thanksgiving set, he must now flounder an autumn slam beginner who has already fried many of the biggest tennis fishes - dispatching a Native up-and-comer as well as the number 10- and 30-ranked stars. Might Hull drive full-steam ahead into the helm of his third 2023 semifinals, over the Best man winning a series of tsunami upsets on a seemingly invincible chase? A magic 8-ball says: 'Most likely,' so Dextennis predicts Hull in 2 Live coverage of The Thanksgiving Open is provided courtesy of Dextennis, a subsidiary of the Dexter Cultural Bureau. |
|
Quarterfinals1 Year Ago Singles quarterfinals  Doubles quarterfinals  |
|
Event XXVIII Round V1 Year Ago24 November 2023 Est. 19 November 2021 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ Final four loaves of (let's get this) bread With
less than a month until a slamming winter solstice, all the trees
across Nature Heights, Palmeras and much of northern-central Dexterra
are as bare as a Dexter politician's corporate donors. Laborious meal preparations are well underway nationwide with only two days until scrumptious Thanksgiving feasts, though some of our global counterparts held their annual celebrations yesterday, 23 November - but only one Beagle-overrun turkey farm will soon put the cherry on top of two equally glorious tennis championships, after first popping champagne for four stupefying semifinals. Stadium lights across Nature Heights are turning on sooner and sooner as daylight dwindles in the frigid face of the oncoming winter, though the national tennis limelight approaches its final four seconds to midnight as The Thanksgiving Open 2023 spotlights a sensational series of semifinal standoffs: new numbers 1 could once more rise to the surface, the Native Uprise will soon near a historic zenith by delivering the first Indigenous athlete and first newcomer to ever reach a final and four top seeded doubles dogs are set to rough house for a shot at the title. Such tasty tennis morsels that will have enormous ramifications for the final tournament of '23 are expected to be one of the most-watched sports events all year according to the Ratings Bureau, due to busy travel days plus nearly every workplace and school either being closed or on strike through Gold Monday. (While general strikes - a year-round tradition in our socialist economy through which workers can achieve fairer compensation, improve working conditions as well as other imperative labor rights and standards - hit major holidays particularly hard, minimal disruption to matches is expected across Nature Heights as some umpires, ballboys, trainers and others tennis workers join the picket lines; federal bans on scabbing require the venue to forbid applications for these filled positions, and refer any & all attempts to local authorities.) A spectacular selection of storybook semifinals have stolen the show all throughout the 2023 tour, but four Thanksgiving take-outs will soon be the talk of every town as they take their own seat at history's table with tremendous taste tests for two colossal championships around the corner. Waiting for either our connecting flight or train, our next highway exit or our stirring in-laws to let us know if we can help with anything, Dextennis crew burnt the midnight oil in hashing out the Thanksgiving 2023 semifinals - and even different future championship previews - before joining the Writer's Assembly in striking for higher wages, legal protections necessitated by developments in artificial intelligence and the freedom to choose to work from home at any time: Singles top half semifinal: Cooper Woolridge vs. Cheyenne Falcon As
nearly every studious expert, seasoned spectator and hopeful bracket
contest in the world definitely predicted when Thanksgiving tennis was
first prepared, the singles top half semifinal has united two
introductory college students who ignited the Native Uprise over the
rankings elite, officially guaranteeing both the first Indigenous and
first newcomer finalist in Dexter sports history - but there can only be
one. In the upper corner of this renegade ring reminiscent of the
recall elections that sparked the Independex Revolution, Cooper
Woolridge has launched his career and the Uprise by shackling number 1
& autumn slam champion Laila Love 6-1, 3-6, 6-3, number 8 &
Jungle champion Camille Fletcher 6-4, 4-6, 6-2 and number 17 &
Independex multifinalist Serenity Petersen 6-7, 7-6, 6-4 - a meteoric
apotheosis that continues to knock national tennis socks off. Though
virtually unknown to even the most well-researched sportswriters only
one month ago, the grandson of Lakota-Sioux shepherds now dominates the
top-trending spot on social media as the spotlight of chest-thumping
highlight reels, a vocal advocate for Native pride and a young warrior
fearlessly war-crying through a landmark vision quest that seems to
promise one of the brightest futures on tour. The 18-year-old freshman
southpaw burst onto the tennis scene not just with 200 kph serves, a
laser-accurate one-handed backhand and indomitable pace control, but by
shouting a most wanted list of top-ranked competitors over which he
would "change everything for every tennis player everywhere," and "above
all else inspire new Natives to buy a racquet or see a match for the
first time." Yet there may be no greater challenge standing athwart one
of the youngest and wooliest mammoths parading through Palmeras than one
of his own record-shattering kind, though he has insisted at the top of
his lungs, "I am the best ever, I am the greatest of all time, and no
one will ever stop me!" In the bottom corner of this surreal semifinal
sparring that threatens to vanquish the Uprise by instigating perilous
infighting, Cheyenne Falcon has also lifted off both her career and this
momentous groundswell of Indigenous hope by flying past number 4 &
autumn slam finalist Esmeralda Serrano 6-3, 6-4, number 13 Viola
Frederick 7-6, 6-4 and number 22 DeMarcus Shannon Jr. 6-1, 7-5, a
staggering start which so far has sacrificed only one set in a 4-6, 7-6,
6-1 quarterfinal battle with number 28 Nicholas Blevins. Once touted by
hardcore tennis followers as a surefire rising star, a guaranteed
contender and perhaps even the future of Dexter sports, the descendant
of Mohawk-Haudenosaunee falconers appears to have responded to the
pressure-packed hype with exceptional poise and grace, herself gliding
into above-the-fold headlines as the eagle-eyed mastermind of the
tournament's fastest shots, an active organizer for Indigenous charity
causes and one of the driving forces behind an outrageous twist in this
Thanksgiving plot that will echo long after the lights go down. The
19-year-old sophomore rightie has swooped into such a sudden and rapid
rise with impeccable sneak attack returns, an exceptionally flexible
wingspan able to scoop up any shot and inexhaustible rally endurance,
altogether a pristine performance putting the 'evolution' in
'revolution' which she has "dedicated to all Indigenous peoples
worldwide," even "the one now standing opposite" her potential flight
into a paramount final. "Please go to indigenous.dex/donate and help the
neediest in our community to have a great Thanksgiving, or support our
people overseas in moving here, or pitch into the National Native
History Museum system, I could go on," the millennium-born Falcon has
wrapped every presser, interview and fan encounter. More than one wild
week ago, The Thanksgiving Open took off under turbulent turmoil
jettisoned by a high-velocity array of barrier-breaking upsets heralded
as the Native Uprise, a momentous turning point in national tennis
history that now comes to a heavy head by turning its fiercest leaders
against each other in the singles top half semifinal - though at least
able to promise the first Indigenous athlete and first newcomer to ever
summit a final. Singles bottom half semifinal: (2) Julian Hull vs. (11) Michael Loy Already
leaving overstuffed jaws on the floor, the Thanksgiving bottom half
semifinal is a long-awaited and highly-anticipated primetime showdown
between the first Black Dexter to win a national singles championship
and the first Dexter to win any title on the national or international
tennis circuits. Having swept away all the competition at The
Brightsands Boardwalk 2023 which shored up his brief return to the
rankings front and situated him besides Rebecca Waukesha/Shirley
Waukesha as the only Black Dexters to become number 1 plus win a
national chip, current singles number 2 Julian Hull is now one legendary
Thanksgiving triumph away from anchoring a return to the rankings
captainship, after incumbent number 1 Laila Love dissolved in the first
round by Indigenous mutineers. By this point a proven perennial 2nd or
1st seed, combined with rock-solid runs to every quarterfinal or later
round of 2023, the scuba diving enthusiast was anointed an early
favorite to baste the turkey trophy even before extra rankings incentive
surfaced. The King of the Deep may likely be more renowned for backing
up this titanic track record by inundating every poor soul who dare wade
in his tennis wake with a hurricane of baseline-drizzling
groundstrokes, a tsunami of lightning-accurate dropshots and an
unsinkable fleet of forehand & backhand torpedos, all of which and
more have propelled forth a commanding Open performance that so far has
not dropped but one set. And though tested by only one seeded siren song
- number 16 and surprise autumn slam quarterfinalist Laura Fields,
flooded 6-3, 6-4 in the round of 16 - Hull must now take the tennis helm
over his loftiest seeded sea monster yet to outshine what could be the
semifinal storm of the hard court century. Drifting into this stormy
whirlpool on a brand new jack-o-lantern trophy paddled by an
ever-gleaming ballot trophy, singles number 11 Michael Loy has already
denied one top 5 superstar their chance to reclaim number 1, scaring
straight number 3 Scarlett Dyer 6-2, 5-7, 6-2 in a quirky quarterfinals
delayed by apparent turkey ghosts summoned by the Evil Empress in an
occult pre-match ritual. Her long-sanctified vanquisher now up to
perhaps a far more sinister 9-0 win streak on '23 hard courts, Mr.
October also chopped up another top star en route to this precarious
edge of his second consecutive final, narrowly bagging number 6 and
Boardwalk finalist Ulysses Bliss 7-6, 5-7, 6-2 in another of
Thanksgiving's off-the-charts sweet sixteen bashes. But though Loy is
currently most remembered for bringing immense pride to the nation
across numerous international finals and championship journeys since
2021, seldom has he ever been compelled to sink so admirable and steely a
watershed challenger this deep in any tennis event. Even his
all-encompassing court coverage able to save any point, high-caliber
sprint that averts the closest near-misses and brick wall defense
adaptive to all scenarios may only be the start of withstanding the
greatest pressure Diamond Mike has fielded in weeks, perhaps months or
longer. While the Thanksgiving '23 top half semifinals demands a brutal
sacrifice from the Native Uprise that placed several stars on a mammoth
most wanted list, a ballistic bottom half showdown between two listed
superstars is already putting fans on the edge of their seats with what
could be one of the most jaw-dropping clashes in national sports memory. Doubles top half semifinal: (8) Jonathan Powell Jr./Lyndon Lowery vs. (5) Serenity Petersen/Jaime Green Jr. Electrifying
the doubles circuit by completely rewiring the race for year-end number
1, The Thanksgiving Open 2023 top half doubles semifinal mashes
together the nation's two highest-ranked doubles grass specialists in
the first final four ever to pit grassie against grassie. Picked by few
experts, fans or bracket contests to hatch such a flourishing climb into
their first career semifinals, numbers 8 Jonathan Powell Jr./Lyndon
Lowery stumbled twice in grass openers but have now masterfully come of
hard court age by delivering to the doubles mountaintop one of the
wildest blows ever dealt, overthrowing numbers 1 Hillary Dunn/Ellen
Whitehead 2-6, 6-1, 6-3 for their first career quarterfinals defeat -
and in effect denying what would have been not only their seventh
consecutive semifinals but also enough points to keep the top ranking.
The autumn slam quarterfinalists who narrowly missed out on Halloween
contention seem to have demonstrated in their ongoing turkey trot that
the extra time to train, practice and rest has allowed for an
extraordinary elevation in their abilities as evidenced by a 3-0 hard
court start compared to their 3-3 grass finish. But the 24-year-old
recent Athletics and Ecology graduates from Treaty Point are due to next
face a far more gargantuan, jagged Open cliffside than having to save
two set points in a slippery 7-6, 0-6, 6-2 ziplining past numbers 9
Demetrius Barron/Penelope Vincent in the sweet sixteen. Revered amongst
grass specialists as the first to reach any grass semifinals or
tournament final, numbers 5 Serenity Petersen/Jaime Green Jr. are within
millimeters of a long-awaited second chance at a finals since
crestfallen at the 2nd Independex Championships. The nation's only
international grass-specializing doubles delegates have embarked upon a
breathtaking Thanksgiving trip unlike any other, mercilessly drawing a
curtain on the doubles theatre of the Native Uprise by vaporizing Andre
Rivers/Marcellus Wade 6-2, 6-1 in the round of 16, only to then capsize
Boardwalk doubles champions and numbers 4 Dane Strong/Dorothy Booth 6-4,
6-4 in a stunning repeat of their seismic upset in the autumn slam
quarterfinals. Having sacrificed likely more for their careers than any
other Dexter professional athlete - including a top 5 pick in the
National Gridiron League and perhaps a starry professional golf career -
Queen Serene and the Little Green Man appear to be the hungriest
Thanksgiving guests of all, with nary a set dropped so far in what some
commentators are already praising as an all-time great performance. Yet
even they recognize that there may be no greater task ahead than turning
to dust the next highest-ranked grass specialists who already toppled
the long-reigning doubles numbers 1 on a streak of four consecutive
finals appearances. Already opening the doubles door to the possibility
of new numbers 1 shortly before the conclusive event of 2023, the
Thanksgiving top half doubles semifinal may long be remembered as an
unbearable kerfuffle between arguably the tour's two best grass
specialists both on vibrant, unstoppable tears. Doubles bottom half semifinal: (2) Rebecca Waukesha/Shirley Waukesha vs. (3) Harper Villarreal/Gwen Daniel In
another dynamite tussle that has long topped national tennis wishlists,
The Thanksgiving Open 2023 bottom half doubles semifinal features a
marquee match-up between two Independex champions, international
delegates and clay specialists clamoring for a piece of the number 1
pie. As the only remaining team who can mathematically retake the top
ranking by gobbling up the turkey trophy, numbers 2 Rebecca
Waukesha/Shirley Waukesha are surely now thanking their lucky stars that
by the grace of the tennis gods they amassed an auspicious autumn slam
victory over numbers 1 Hillary Dunn/Ellen Whitehead, the culmination of a
miraculous grass season launched out of a Jungle qualifier run ended by
Dunn/Whitehead in the first round. The clay specialist sisterhood seem
to have fully bounced back on hard courts after crashing out of their
1st Independex title defense in the 2nd Independex first round, even
after following up their Fall grass title with a nailbiting defeat in
the Halloween quarterfinals. And though now the Waukeshas are yet to
face any seeded opponent in a race for Turkey Day triumph that would
catapult them back to the top, together they have cobbled together a
number of gritty and scrappy photo finishes making them harder to beat
than any other pair, including a 6-2, 3-6, 6-4 quarterfinal whipping of
numbers 9 Bruno McKnight/Yaritza García and a 6-2, 2-6, 6-4 sweet
sixteen popping of Journey Ross/Branson McClain. But there is no greater
test for the only ethnic Dexters with multiple national slam chips than
their own worldly, national champion clay specialist kind. Though
melting in back-to-back opening rounds across Fall and Halloween in a
sputtering attempt to reignite their triumphant 2nd Independex engines,
numbers 3 Harper Villarreal/Gwen Daniel appear to be once again clicking
like Thanksgiving TV remotes despite their potentially demotivating
elimination from number 1 contention after Dunn/Whitehead reached the
Open quarterfinals. The clay specialists who often publicly reiterate
their gratitude for a chance to debut on the international tour this
year have also expressed similar sentiments all throughout national
events, opening their first Thanksgiving presser with such remarks that
have been echoed in post-match interviews following a 6-3, 7-5
quarterfinal dismissal of Jungle finalists and numbers 6 Dorian
Trevino/Viviana Stevenson, a 6-4, 6-3 round of 16 banishing of Nicholas
Blevins/Jeanine Burgess and a 6-2, 6-3 round of 32 schooling of
beginners Cliff Ridgepath/Forrest B. Honeycutt. With not one set dropped
along an apparent rebirth for the powerhouse Villadan duopoly eager for
an opening to back up their dark horse 2nd Independex acclaim, itself
sparked by saving match point in a shocking round of 16 upset of then
2-seeded defending finalists Calvin Rush/Colt Patel, many fans and
pundits are beginning to believe that the championship stars may once
again be aligning for these shortest-ever reigning national numbers 1.
That is, however, if they can craft a truly Hall of Fame performance and
rubble the number 2 behemoths who will stop at nothing - even those
with whom they bear striking similarities - to reconquer the top ranking
for which they have already held longer than any other doubles team.
Beckoning witnesses to brace with a bib for one of the tour's filthiest
tennis splatterings, the Thanksgiving '23 bottom half doubles semifinal
is more than just an all clay-specialist mixture that counters the
all-grass top half semis - in colliding two Independex champions and
international delegates from which there will be decisive impacts on the
race for year-end doubles numbers 1, it may in fact be one of the most
consequential and pivotal duels in national tennis history. Live coverage of The Thanksgiving Open is provided courtesy of Dextennis, a subsidiary of the Dexter Cultural Bureau. |
|
Semifinals1 Year AgoSingles semifinals  Doubles semifinals  |
|
Event XXVIII Round VI1 Year Ago26 November 2023 Est. 19 November 2021 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ The end of the whirled Happy Thanksgiving, from a ferocious tennis fireplace stoked by explosive championship send-offs Partied a little too
hard at a raucous Thanksgiving shindig? Please remember that with
special exemptions it is federally illegal to manually operate any motor
vehicle even when not under the influence, and manual operation while
impaired will incur harsher penalties. If your self-driving vehicle is
inoperable for any reason, you can visit transport.dex/nearme or call
(+1) 222-700-7000 for local service centers, public transit and other
ways to get home safely and legally. Remember, Ron the Road Safety
Roadkill says: joy rides, or save lives! After a warm month of togetherness further consecrated by growing leaf piles and waning daylight, it is officially Thanksgiving Day in Dexterra, and friends, family, neighbors and the neediest in each community nationwide are gathering for a delectable dinner, two headline-dominating tennis championships and other uplifting annual celebrations of this major holiday to sanctify giving thanks. Top-trending images of cozy picnic tables now lining the visibly autumnal grounds of Nature Heights - wherein scores of free-range turkeys squawk around seemingly tutting their immense gratitude for animal welfare regulations which require all animal products to be lab-grown locally, and even ban the use of real animals in all but strict humane exceptions - have already welcomed overwhelming crowds ahead of this evening's Turkey Day feast, especially as surrounding telescreens display other nationally-broadcast traditions. This afternoon, United Peoples Commoner Jacqueline S. Mason set a turkey free into the wilderness, although they quietly waddled back to watch the Commoner deliver an update on animal welfare laws signed this summer, federally mandating all animal products - from food, clothing and more - to be replicated from extracted animal cells rather than traditionally-farmed livestock or cattle; 63.5% of general voters in a 2022 referendum first-ranked lab-grown products as 'above or equivalent in quality' as compared to traditional animal products, facilitating an act of Progress through the Laboratory-Grown Animal Products Reform Act of 2022. Further illuminating this heartfelt Turkey Day, the Gracies Day Parade that runs through the mountainous, chilly streets of Deep Confluence once again swept away millions of local attendants and at-home audiences with ridiculously overzealous floats, such as a giant lab pointer-turkey-beagle hybrid, a cartoonishly enormous tardigrade said to represent the enduring spirit of ethnic Gracies and even a stadium-sized racquet with wacky waving inflatable tube tennis stars - the most prominent of whom was Annette Golden, the shimmering pride and joy of Deep Confluence who recently bejeweled a dazzling introductory run to The Thanksgiving Open sweet sixteen. And while that ongoing slice of history in our national pastime prepares to plate up three new tennis champions though absent the Gracie golden girl, other sports greatness also continues to leave the national yard utterly gobsmacked: the National Gridiron League's Thanksgiving showdowns will tonight pit the Palmeras Palms against the Everhope Evergreens, while earlier today the Beagalia Beagles defeated the Riverwaves Riverhawks 25-13 despite multiple blocked extra points and a failed two-point conversion. The Ratings Bureau have already confirmed today is a banner day for nearly every TV station, public livestream, national airwave and other mainstream media outlet with almost all workplaces and schools nationwide shutting down for the holidays or to strike, while the Finance Council are bracing for a similarly gargantuan upsurge on an exceptionally gangbusters Gold Monday despite picket lines ballooning. And with ballot boxes to even include a registered Tennis member vote on 2024 tour decisions for which the referendum ends on 1 December (visit tennis.dex/vote to participate or find your local polling station), this Thanksgiving Day has already reached a sweltering boiling point for all those sweating brown and blue anywhere in the world. Many iconic and memorable days in history have already left a lasting impression just this year alone, but in the fading embers of autumn 2023 soon to ice over a wintry new year, a riotous Turkey Day will be further rocked by two earthshaking championships at The Thanksgiving Open - giving our Dexterra Beagles a completely new leash on tennis life during this special day of giving thanks. With our latest athletics adventure due to raise three ornate and spectacularly shiny turkey trophies - a solid gold model sculpted and painted to resemble the Dexter turkey, a unique national subspecies - Dextennis was able to take stock of those who may soon hoist this nugget of glory before our crew joined the gutsy Gold Monday picket lines: Singles championship: Cooper Woolridge vs. (11) Michael Loy   Finalists: Woolridge (left) and Loy (right) Destined to forever
alter the course of singles tennis one way or another if it hasn't
already, The Thanksgiving Open 2023 singles championship embattles the
shocking and groundbreaking culmination of the Native Uprise with likely
the tour's most resilient racquet warrior embarking upon an
extraordinary national comeback. From the very bottom of the
Thanksgiving singles entrant list, Cooper Woolridge has blown away all
the odds, every confident expert and each popcorn-gnoshing spectator by
becoming the first Indigenous athlete and first newcomer to ever rocket
into a tournament final, hands down an all-time great if not Hall of
Fame career launch for which there may surely follow a wide open and
promising future. One of more than a dozen Indigenous singles and
doubles athletes to cast asunder top-ranked superstars in an Uprise that
stunned this entire turkey trampling, he has pounded his chest and
hollered like ballistic banshees through an epic series of hard-fought
upsets - from number 1 Laila Love, number 8 Camille Fletcher and number
17 Serenity Petersen - before tasked with downing fellow Upriser
Cheyenne Falcon 6-1, 4-6, 6-4 in a semifinals blow to "our people's
movement." The woolliest mammoth on court maintains he is "thankful for
all Indigenous people, all good-natured people everywhere this
Thanksgiving, all year every year" but also "standing up for every
downtrodden fighter everywhere, 'cause I'm Cooper Woolridge and I'm the
best and greatest of all time." And though that final four duel between
the last two Indigenous athletes valiantly standing has been touted as a
death knell for the Uprise that has already far outpaced even the most
conservative expectations, an unsheepish Woolridge seems eager to solely
carry the torch well into the Thanksgiving night, grabbing the
microphone from the semifinals post-match interviewer as he sprinted
around the court and into the stands while high-fiving everybody and
screaming, "There's never a good day to die! I'm going to win it all,
just like I promised at the start! You heard it here first and you'll
hear it from every umpire next!" Already having a notable racquet in
setting alight the Uprise during his Thanksgiving first round overthrow
of autumn slam champion Love, @thawoollymammoth626 now changed to
@tha_coupa_troopa626 also drew the spotlight by shouting a most wanted
list of top contenders, one of whom has worked overtime to directly
answer his finals challenge in the most daunting and demanding way
possible. Himself once the fresh-faced lowly-ranked contender who
abruptly lifted off on a miraculous title run - on both the
international and national tours, number 11 Michael Loy has quietly made
colossal tennis waves of his own by becoming the first singles athlete
to ever appear in back-to-back national singles finals, the second
repeat singles finalist of '23 after number 1 Love reached the Jungle
and Fall curtain calls. More than just a recent relatively dark horse
Halloween champion, Mr. October also swordfought three international
titles including the nation's only grand slam championship this year -
and factoring in an additional slam final defeat, this Thanksgiving
chopping block altogether marks his sixth final in just ten months. The
only Dexter to reign as world number 1 and national number 1 appears
poised to some day reconquer that latter topmost ranking, squashing both
athletes who were in contention to return to top turkey: in an instant
classic semifinal faceoff, he narrowly saved two match points to
supersede number 2 Julian Hull 4-6, 7-6, 6-4, and in a beastly
quarterfinal exorcism of number 3 Scarlett Dyer he staved off a grisly
apocalypse 6-2, 5-7, 6-2 - altogether guaranteeing no new number 1 until
the final tournament of '23, which sources say may serendipitously be
hosted in Diamond Mike's birthplace of Skyswim, Tristerra. Yet also the
tennis tree who remembers many finals axings, Loy recognizes the
immensely rocky Thanksgiving perils ahead, acknowledging in a presser,
"I've been profoundly moved by what Cooper Woolridge, Cheyenne Falcon,
Quentin Pierce, Andre Rivers & Marcellus Wade and all Indigenous
athletes have accomplished not just for their peoples but all tennis
players, and even though he's a newcomer, Woolridge in the final is
probably just as tough a test as Wendy Yates at Halloween or Serenity
Petersen at Independex," later adding that he is "thankful this
Thanksgiving for every opportunity to play tennis, whether with
newcomers or other current greats." But he is not entirely under any
illusion as to the vast discrepancy in professional experience
underlining the Open final, commenting in a talk show interview:
"Woolridge is a trailblazer and an inspiration, but I've been a tennis
revolutionary since at least 2021, and I can show 'the Couper Trooper'
what often happens to figureheads at the end of an uprise, or sacred
Native warriors at the height of their righteous journey." Promising the
Dexter sports world a seismic shift in the tennis landscape that will
echo on long after the dust is settled, The Thanksgiving Open 2023
singles championship has already blown away bystanders with a fateful,
precarious crossroads between an historic first-ever Indigenous &
first-ever newcomer finalist and a former number 1 clawing for his
second straight national chip. Doubles championship: (5) Serenity Petersen/Jaime Green Jr. vs. (3) Harper Villarreal/Gwen Daniel     Finalists: Petersen/Green Jr. (top) and Villarreal/Daniel (bottom) The
Thanksgiving Open 2023 doubles championship highlights the remarkable
return of not only two of the nation's newest international doubles
delegates, but in fact the first national tournament of the year -
itself now resurrected in a Turkey Day racquet rampage that features the
first-ever championship rematch. Beleaguered grass specialists who may
have already long surpassed in both national and international tennis
their extinction in the 2nd Independex Championships doubles final as
well as their foothold in the 1st Independex singles final, numbers 5
Serenity Petersen/Jaime Green Jr. continue to go the extra kilometer on
hard courts after crumbling in the Halloween opening round, a widely
unexpected follow-up to an awe-inspiring autumn slam performance in
which they became the first doubles grass specialists to reach a grass
semifinals. Now spending much of this Thanksgiving - a time in which
Queen Serene could be balling out in the National Gridiron League or the
Green Machine could be tearing up the Public Golf Tour - by repeatedly
taking every press opportunity to "thank our saltiest and most jealous
haters" for "keeping us in your blackened hearts and us believing in
ourselves," drawing most of their ire upon a callous 6-2, 6-1 dismissal
of Andre Rivers/Marcellus Wade - the last Indigenous duo standing - in
the Open round of 16, though the Native Uprise did also conquer Petersen
in singles during an instant sweet sixteen classic. Altogether driven
into only two tiebreaks across a turkey trophy pursuit that so far has
yet to surrender but one set, the ever-ascendant grass giants appear to
have grown leaps and bounds since their previous tennis excursion,
turfing an all-grass specialist semifinal 7-6, 6-4 over numbers 8
Jonathan Powell Jr./Lyndon Lowery - who themselves had hanged, drawn and
quarterfinaled numbers 1 Hillary Dunn/Whitehead - as well as uprooting a
quarterfinal rematch 6-4, 6-4 against Boardwalk-crowned numbers 4 Dane
Strong/Dorothy Booth, and in the round of 32 pouncing 6-1, 7-6 upon
introductory pair Annette Golden/Robin Leafhill. Yet for dogged, diehard
fans of the dynastic Petersen/Green Jr. powerhouse, the career
milestone to beat will always remain the Independex slam-level finals in
which they twice collectively fell, raising hopes that this
Thanksgiving's third finals time will be the championship charm - if it
were not for a widely-hyped and long-awaited rematch of the deadly 2nd
Independex final itself. Themselves crusading into their second career
final after back-to-back opening round upsets, numbers 3 Harper
Villarreal/Gwen Daniel have also come an astoundingly long way from a
Major accomplishment in 2nd Independex glamor, as clay specialists
suddenly catching fire on hard court kilns despite fans and experts
often expecting otherwise given an increasingly cumbersome selection of
Thanksgiving opponents. By splintering numbers 2 Rebecca
Waukesha/Shirley Waukesha 4-6, 6-3, 6-4 in a lights-out semifinal
staredown, the shortest-reigning numbers 1 Villadan in effect guaranteed
that incumbent numbers 1 Dunn/Whitehead will maintain the top ranking
ahead of the final tournament of '23, a striking turn of events in the
race for year-end doubles number 1 that mirrors its singles counterpart.
Also the indomitable architects of a 6-3, 7-5 cratering of numbers 6
Dorian Trevino/Viviana Stevenson in a widely-watched Open quarterfinal
collision, the perennial doubles 3-seeds have demonstrated that while
not currently in position to jump back to the rankings front, their
consistent ability to withstand their fellow top 5 superstars may
ultimately lead to their guzzling the turkey trophies and significantly
tightening the last leg of the race for year-end number 1. But only
"humbly and simply maintaining" into each microphone their "overwhelming
gratitude this Thanksgiving" for "all their fans and supporters and
coaches in sticking with us through it all," Villarreal/Daniel have
carried into this second Division II final of '23 "an unshakably zen
peace of mind" which no other team seems able to disastrously disturb.
For all dutiful doubles fans and experts this Thanksgiving, however, the
bottom line for both championship contenders goes no further than this:
7-6, 7-5 - the score of the 2nd Independex final, for which the
aftershocks may linger well after this Thanksgiving rematch. On this
blessed and revered Turkey Day reuniting loved ones across the nation,
The Thanksgiving Open 2023 doubles championship has already brought
witnesses to the edge of their seats by rekindling the dynamite first
final of the year with guaranteed Major fallout on the race for year-end
number 1. Live coverage of The Thanksgiving Open is provided courtesy of Dextennis, a subsidiary of the Dexter Cultural Bureau. |
|
Championships1 Year AgoSingles championship  Doubles championship  |
![[send message]](https://www.writerscafe.org/images/mail.png){kind=small}
![[befriend]](https://www.writerscafe.org/images/friend.png){kind=small}
first
prev
Share This