BOOK TRAILERS CREATING Forum BOOK IDEA

I'm looking for feedback on my short story. It's the only one I have posted. In fact, it's the only one I've written. I'd like to take the idea and write a novel. I wanted to write it in short story form first to see if it works. The short story is only one piece of a much larger plot I've already got worked out in my mind. Let me know what you guys think. Thanks. I'd've happy to ready anyone's work and give feedback. Let me know.