Aspiring New Authors Forum Give brutal critisism =] Pleas..

Ok, I'm completely new to the writing thing, but NOT new to the creation of ideas, plot and characters. I've been making them in my head for many years, over 6, to be exact. But I need a lot of help to be a real published writer. So I would like some of you to read the first few chapters of my "Life after death" and give brutal critisism and feedback, please =] This is also a great way to start a new friendship