500 words Forum The other side

Picking up the phone I stared longingly at the background picture, it was you, smiling that ever so sly smile. That smile melts my heart; you gave me that smile the first time we met. Slowly I dialled the number, rehearsing those words once again. The smallest of conversation I rehearse endlessly. “Hi babe, what are you doing?” Those words loop around inside of my head and I pray I get them right if you answer the phone. I listened as the phone rang out; I waited to hear your voice on the voicemail. I love your voice. That smooth drawl, it stays in my head for days, and there is little I can do to get it out. I dial again, praying for you to answer. Nothing, nasty thoughts burst into my head, are you having an affair? Who is she? I feel that familiar rage building up inside of me. I throw my phone in frustration; it hits the wall and breaks into pieces. I fly off the bed and run to it. Tears stream down my face as I try desperately to piece it back together. I just want to look at your face. I so desperately want to be near you. Never before have I felt about anyone like I feel about you. I have always been a strong and independent woman, never needing anyone to make my life feel complete. With you it’s different. You push me away and then pull me back, and I beg for more. Every rejection makes my affection stronger. Everything I ever wanted is in that twinkle in your eye. I watch for it, pray that it twinkles at me and not someone else. I could live forever in the space beside you, and never be unhappy. All my hopes and dream for the future revolve around you. Sometimes it seems as if you don’t even care for me. You are so cool and indifferent; I give you my all and you smile and nod. I reply old conversations in my head, funny little comments you’ve made, I remember every “I love you”. I can't tell you all this, you made the rules very clear. There is no room for me in your life right now. We aren’t in a relationship, only casually dating. You’ll call me, I can't call you. It can take days for you to call me, and I wait for you. I finally piece my phone together and sit back on the back. Sighing heavily I begin chewing at my nails praying for a call from you. The phone vibrates violently in my hand, it’s you, and you’re actually calling me. Quickly I answer. “Hey babe,” my voice is light and happy. “Hi,” yours is heavy. “Any plans tonight?” “None at all, why? Do you want to see me?” “I might drop by later.” The phone beeps signalling the end of the call. “Ok babe, I’ll be here, waiting, on the other side of you.”