100 % Review Forum

I submitted sunshine because it is based off my life i am only 13 so some of it is my dreams! I made it a bit more dramatic but story wise it's the same!

Hi everyone! I wrote a poem about my unexpected pregnancy I worked really hard on it and it would mean the world to me if you guys reviewed it for me I want to become a better writer so I need opinions 

So hi guys for joining this group. 😁 Just post the works you want to get reviewed here, and please try to invite other writers too. So anyway we can just chat and get to know each other in the mean time. (Who wants to collaborate in a story?)

So hi everyone and thank you for joining 😄 Just post your works here you want to be reviewes, and HELP ME invite more writers. For the meantime we can chat and get to know each other. (Who wants to collaborate on a story?)

as the title said: WE SHOULD TOTALLY COLLAB ON SOMETHING GUYS!

The Last Time
The last time. The last time i took the train to meet you halfway. Shifting my weight in my seat. The butterflies in my stomach wouldnt let me sit still.  I just wanted to get there. Excited to see your face. The last time you left my house. I walked you to the train, up the stairs, to the train door. I watched you get on the train. My heart went with you. The last time we layed down, face to face. Staring into each others eyes. No words, just feelings. Trying to reach down and pull out each others soul. The last time you looked over at me and smiled a real smile. We sat on your bed watching Harry Potter eating the meal you just cooked for us. I looked over at you to steal a glace but you caught me. You stopped eating and smiled at me. A smile that said im happy you are here, im happy you are mine, i care about you. That smile could mealt my heart. The last time we kissed so hard i couldnt breath. 2am and we are up alone in your room. I wondered if you felt what i was feeling. "Do you feel that?" you asked "what?" i said playing dumd, i knew exactly what you meant. " That urgency, that i have to have you now feeling, i never felt that before. I like the way you kiss me." I smiled and kissed you again. The last time you reached for my hand. In Trevors car. You picked me up from the train station. I had just had an asthma attack at work and was sent to the hospital. I was scared to get on the train, worried i would have another one. You must have heard this in my voice. You asked if i wanted to meet up with you and said Trevor would drive me home. I sat in the back while you sat in the front seat. You reached behind you, asking for my hand. I loved that. I loved that you wanted  to be close to me. I moved closer to the edge of my seat and gave you my hand. I looked out the window into the night and thought to myself how did i get so lucky? The last time you pulled me close to you. I had gotten into a fight with my mom and you said i could spend the night. We did laundry well into the night. We got back to your house exhausted. Layed in bed watching Youtube videos. You looked at me and said "tired" i replied"who, me?" You pointed to yourself and gave me this innocent look, one i have never seen before. You turned over and faced the other way. I lay awake, unable to shut my mind off. I felt your hand tap me and grab my arm. You pulled me close to you. The morning came way to fast. The alarm went off, you looked at me and said "thats for you dude." I got up, got dressed and was doing my hair. I looked over at you sleeping so peacefully. You opened one eye and said "come lay back down for a little while." I crawled back into your bed and you graded for my hand again. Pulling me towards you, you said "Come close to me." The last time I went to your house.  Something was different, i could feel it. The last time you made me dinner. You made a potato and some veggies. We wacthed a movie and you noticed me whiping off the veggies. "Whats wrong, are they to spicy?" you asked. I shyly nodded my head. The last time we sat in your kitchen. Once again, we sat up well into the night. You doing homework and me writing. Eariler in the night we watched Finding Dory. You asked if i would do the dishes. I agreed feeling like an idiot for not offering sooner. You walked by my chair and kissed my head. I put my hair in a bun and my hair tie broke. I stood up to do the dishes and you came up behide me and pulled my hair into a bun for me. "Thank you babe." I said. The last time you called me babe. Outside in your hallway. We stood out there feezing as you smoked a cigarette. I looked down and saw your slippers. Black slip ons with a think metallic sliver strap over your toes. "Oh i like your slippers!" I said. "They are from Victorias Secret, ill get you a pair babe." you quickly said. So fast i wasnt sure thats what you even just said. The last time i woke up next to you. Monday morning, we both have work but cant seem to wake up. All of our alarams keep being snoozed. I finally get up and get ready. I have a few minutes to spare and remembering the time you asked me to come back into bed with you, i look over at you. I see you open your eyes and hope you will ask me to lay next to you. You dont and my heart drops a little. I crawl back into bed and get as close as i can to you without you noticing. At the last minute, you wake up. I look at you and say Good Morning. You turn to me and throw your hands up showing me a peace sign. You come back into the bedroom with oatmeal. "You should really eat something." you say to me. Always worried i dont eat enough. "Im not hungry." i say as i get myself together. The last time you kissed me. You walked me to your front door. Gave me a quick kiss and said "text me when you get home." and then you were gone. Disappeared behide the metal door. I tuned back to look, just to make sure. I tried to push the feeling in the pit of my stomach away, but i knew. You mentally checked out weeks ago. The last time you dyed you hair green. Violently green. A few days later you told me we should just be friends. I think back to that time as i sit here and listen to you tell me you are dying your hair green again. I smile but panic fills my chest. Just like last time, the next day you say you cant do this anymore. The same reasons as the last time. I look away from my phone for a second. Blurry eyed, i think to myself "damn that green hair dye."

The stars are all out and so is the moon
as a warm gentle wind breezes in June
I look at the sky and wonder aloud
what have I done that can be thought of as proud?
I dream with the best as I gaze at the sky
the moon and the stars and the planets up high
the sky that I see has been there for ages
and still holds the key to all dreamers’ cages
My thoughts are my own as original as any
but what good are they when I’m still searching and empty
grow up, be industrious, make a success of yourself
Follow the crowd, stay in step, chase power and wealth
From our earliest ages were pushed to be first
being caught in the crowd is really a curse
we rush through our lives to be tired and unhealthy
and we haven’t succeeded if we’re not sun tan and wealthy
There has to be more than this day to day grind
we have to find our answers before we run out of time
they are the same stars that Emerson dreamed under
They are the same stars that caused Plato to wonder
I look at the sky and wonder aloud; my life is just fine I have cause to be proud

Why? are there so many fakes on this site? Mental illness? 

At 0600 hours I was heading to The province HQ for what I assumed was a standard briefing. I arrived at HQ  at 0800. Once when I pulled into the complex I was seized and a black bag was put over my head and I was knocked unconscious with some kind of drug. I woke up tied to a chair in a damp room the reeked of sulfur. once I smelled that foul order I knew where I was. I was in an intel retrieval room in sector 12 of HQ. Then I heard loud booming footsteps followed by light soft steps. I felt the heat from the lights through the thick black bag over my head. I heard the locks on the door turn and the door opened. I heard two enter the room and the bag was pulled off my head. as the light blinded me I squinted to see who was standing before me. It was a fit man who was clean shaven and next to him was a young lean woman. only the man spoke with an insertive voice he says"Hello Director, Do you know why you are here?" I replied with I could assume but I would rather like to know for sure.he said "do not be smart with me" I said" little lady do I scare you?" she blushed and backed into the corner. the man began to speak I ignored him till I heard the words"traitor' and"death". I said"a traitor in my ranks I think not. Are you accusing me? You should know better than accusing a member that is ranked like me" the girl blushed. The man said"Then explain how The files on agent X and the wolfbane experiments have gone missing" I said "Oh those were checked out by agent D37 and he is under investigation for acts aginst the order go check" He walks out but the Lady stays and we waited for him to return watching each other. I am not sure what it is about her but I sensed something familiar about her. He came back with a look of fear on his face. I said Was I right? He nodded silently motioning two guards to let release me. I said," well I guess someone's getting transferred to death squad". he gulped and with a broken nearly begging-like voice he said"Please I was only fallowing orders please do not send me to the Squid with those things. I will do anything" I raised my brow and said"hmmm I want her transferred to my base," he said, "b-but her clearance is not high enough."I said well make it" then Was walked out*

At 0600 hours I was heading to The province HQ for what I assumed was a standard briefing. I arrived at HQ  at 0800. Once when I pulled into the complex I was seized and a black bag was put over my head and I was knocked unconscious with some kind of drug. I woke up tied to a chair in a damp room the reeked of sulfur. once I smelled that foul order I knew where I was. I was in an intel retrieval room in sector 12 of HQ. Then I heard loud booming footsteps followed by light soft steps. I felt the heat from the lights through the thick black bag over my head. I heard the locks on the door turn and the door opened. I heard two enter the room and the bag was pulled off my head. as the light blinded me I squinted to see who was standing before me. It was a fit man who was clean shaven and next to him was a young lean woman. only the man spoke with an insertive voice he says"Hello Director, Do you know why you are here?" I replied with I could assume but I would rather like to know for sure.he said "do not be smart with me" I said" little lady do I scare you?" she blushed and backed into the corner. the man began to speak I ignored him till I heard the words"traitor' and"death". I said"a traitor in my ranks I think not. Are you accusing me? You should know better than accusing a member that is ranked like me" the girl blushed. The man said"Then explain how The files on agent X and the wolfbane experiments have gone missing" I said "Oh those were checked out by agent D37 and he is under investigation for acts aginst the order go check" He walks out but the Lady stays and we waited for him to return watching each other. I am not sure what it is about her but I sensed something familiar about her. He came back with a look of fear on his face. I said Was I right? He nodded silently motioning two guards to let release me. I said," well I guess someone's getting transferred to death squad". he gulped and with a broken nearly begging-like voice he said"Please I was only fallowing orders please do not send me to the Squid with those things. I will do anything" I raised my brow and said"hmmm I want her transferred to my base," he said, "b-but her clearance is not high enough."I said well make it" then Was walked out*

Hey, I'm pretty new to Writers Cafe, and I have been writing a novel. I would absolutely love your reviews! I also have a poem that I would appreciate reviews on, and I have a description contest going! Thanks!

Hey, I just joined and I was wondering if anyone wanted to review my stuff. I'll return reviews! Thanks!

Getting shifted looks like a too expensive task especially when you are getting shifted by the help of Packers and Movers. And we people think that we can easily complete the shifting work on our own and that would be really easy as compare to the taking help from Packers and Movers. But you are wrong at this time, it is not like much expensive task if you get shifted by the help of Packers and Movers Company, they genuinely charge for the work that they actually do for you, and only for the efforts that they make to help you and to shift you. So it is quite wrong that you take it in an otherwise way and just take it as a headache, and you do not trust on the shifting companies.
There are really some basic difference between the shifting that you get from Packers and Movers and the shifting that you done by yourself. Let me explain you the some so that you understand about what the difference it, and i bet that after looking on to these differences you will prefer booking the Packers and Movers Company for the shifting work.Packing Stuff – may be you can collect the packing stuff from the market also and can have the packing boxes for the packing, but you would not have an estimate that how much of packing boxes and the other material would be required. And the material which you will going to purchase from the market could be the expensive one as you are taking it only for your shifting specifically but the packing material owned by the Packers and Movers Company is their company material and they buy all these things in bulk in order to complete the shifting of several or even thousands of peoples. So, it this case definitely you will have to pay more if you want to complete shifting on your own.Labours and transporting – the labours that you take help from will charge you much higher and there is no guarantee that they will protect all your products and if in any case there is some damage to your luggage then you will need to bear the loss. But as with the Packers and Movers they provide the facility of proper protection to your products and they guarantee about the security of the things, and they also provide the insurance facility so that if you choose this service then the cost will be returned to you and you will not ne at loss.Time management – time is very precious as you cannot make much delay at the shifting work. So if you will work it on your own then you will take much time in completing the whole shifting process. As assembling each and everything from small to big is really very difficult and it consumes time. But there is no such issue with the Packers and Movers Company they give you the service on time and they complete all their shifting work on the time.

G'Day all.  I received and have accepted the invite to join this group.  Now then - my question - What IS the member-recognized goal (and method to be used to achieve it) of our loosely tied federation?

G'Day all.  I received and have accepted the invite to join this group.  Now then - my question - What IS the member-recognized goal (and method to be used to achieve it) of our loosely tied federation?

G'Day all.  I received and have accepted the invite to join this group.  Now then - my question - What IS the member-recognized goal (and method to be used to achieve it) of our loosely tied federation?

G'Day all.  I received and have accepted the invite to join this group.  Now then - my question - What IS the member-recognized goal (and method to be used to achieve it) of our loosely tied federation?