100 % Review Forum Wanna tell me how I'm doing?

I've been writing a story that I first conceptualized in 8th grade and have been maturing and developing off and on (mostly off) for the past six years. I finally got around to writing it last year when I had free time between studying for my doctoral courses, and would like to know what folks think about it. One of my coworkers has been alpha-reading for me and consistently gives me good reviews, but I'd like to have a more unbiased review of what I've done. I've written 31 chapters so far, but I've only posted the first 13 for now. If someone would like to read it and tell me what they think, I'd really appreciate it.

I'd love to review!