What Porn and Your Sex Ed Teacher Never Explained

Writing a sex scene isn’t that hard. You don’t have to watch porn or dramatic movies, and I’d actually counsel against it. Don’t seek television for inspiration, because you’re not going to get the scene right.

See, writing a sex/lovemaking scene and watching one are two different things, similar to reading and watching. As a writer, you want to draw your readers in and plant them in the same environment as your characters. What is the main character(s) feeling? What does she/he taste, smell?

What do I mean by this? Well, let me show you two examples of written sex scenes.

Example one: Billy opened Susan’s legs, and looked between them.

Example two: Billy’s hands trailed up Susan’s thighs, nails raking lightly against her skin. Her breathing hitched when he spread her wide, opening her for his eyes. Susan was hot; so hot that she thought she might ignite the silk sheets beneath her and burn.

Now, compare the two. Which one captures your interest more? The one with more description, right? Writing sex is never ever really about the act itself, but everything going on around it. It’s about what the character is feeling, not always what they are doing.

For this exercise, I want you to write a 500 word piece about the minute before the sexual act takes place. Write what your character is feeling, what is going through their head.

Here’s the catch. I want you to do this, only after you have laid in bed (or against wherever you plan to write this scene i.e. the wal, kitchen counter, etc.), closed your eyes, and felt out your surroundings. Try it with a blindfold or noise canceling headphones if you want to focus on a particular sense that you think you struggle with getting into words.