Part I: Personification

What's personification? An easy tool to make your setting really POP! Read on to find out how to use it!

Have you ever written a paragraph of a story you were working on, read it back, and grumbled at how plain, uninspiring, or boring it was? Well, we all have. Even if you’ve got ideas in your head, as great as they might sound inside, sometimes you’ll put them on the screen and completely disappoint yourself. What sounded like an exciting, action packed scene in your mind now looks like a trudging block of exposition. It’s boring.

Don't let your exposition stay looking like this!

    Well don’t let it get you down. It’s just something that’s going to happen when you’re pounding your thoughts into material. Quite often, even if what you just wrote looks terrible to you, it’s still a vital step in the creative process. It’s extremely important to put your thoughts down in written form. So many “writers” have the story all in their heads! It might be amazing and inspiring and wonderful, but no one can see it. That’s why actually filtering the ideas out of your mind into visible form is so important, but it’s of course only the first step.

    Let’s go back to that boring block of exposition. Odds are that you’re going to have to dissect it, chop it up, sew it back together, and send a bolt of lightning into it before “It’s alive!” Silly, but truer than you think. Quite often you will have to remove entire sections of writing, even if your productive ego tells you “What are you doing!?” It just feel unnatural and wrong to delete something you put in your story, but trust me, don’t be afraid of it. Often less is far more, and there’s only one way to find out when that’s true.

    But that still doesn’t say much for energizing that dead chunk of text. If you chop up paragraph cadavers and splice them back together, you’re still using dead word-meat. What do you need next? A bolt of lightning! But where do you find that? Well, there are many viable alternatives to a lightning rod affixed to your roof. Writing is an art, and just as there are a myriad different ways to bring a painting to life, the same can be said when it comes to writing. I’m going to bring out one that I personally like to employ in my work.

    Personification. What’s that? Well, basically it’s when you take an lifeless, inanimate object, and give it active, even human traits. If you cut eyes and a mouth into your sandwich and make it talk, I suppose that’s personification. Thankfully we can be much more subtle when it comes to writing. How can we do this? Well the best way to explain is with an example.

The wind moved the curtains.

This sentence of exposition is to the point, but it’s also pretty boring. I think I just yawned.

The blackened night exhaled a heavy breath against the curtains as they fluttered in a ghostly dance.

Alright, I’ll admit I went a little overboard there, but this looks a lot better, doesn’t it?

    Looking at those two sentences, why is the second one funner to read? It’s hardly because of the dramatic descriptive adjectives. Don’t believe me? Then let’s strip it bare, leaving only the personifications.

The night exhaled a breath against the curtains as they fluttered and danced.

    It still sounds pretty darn good, doesn’t it? Some would even prefer this version to the last. Why? Well that’s a key point when it comes to personification. A writer can pile on all the fancy adjectives he wants onto his work, but when you overuse adjectives, you’re telling the reader what something is like, you’re not showing them what it’s like. That’s probably the most widely preached mantra of writing: Show, don’t tell.

Maybe this is a bit too literal of a visual aid, but I kind of want middle one's number and to have a brewski with the one on the left.

    When you utilize a personification as opposed to a handful of adjectives, you’re giving your setting human characteristics. Obviously, any human is going to more fully connect with human characteristics. It hits home harder, and it wraps us up in the scene. You see? That’s a personification right there “It wraps us into to the scene”. Obviously a sentence or paragraph cannot physically wrap around your body, but through use of a personification, your mind immediately grasps the idea behind that phrase and interprets it in a very literal, visceral way. That’s why personifications are so powerful when read. You might not even see them as you read, but they’re there, and they make you keep reading.

    So now that you understand exactly what personification is, why don’t you try it out? I guarantee that you already use it in your writing, even if you never thought about it before, but now that we are thinking about it, let’s practice and evolve this particular skill.

    Below is a list of random, lifeless objects. They’re lifeless because they’re not breathing and thinking, but you personally can breathe life into them through personification, and they will repay the favor by breathing life into your story.

Wind
Marble/s
Camera
Dress
Xylophone

    So take each of these boring, inanimate objects, and use personification to place them each in a sentence that imbues them with life and human characteristics. Remember to make good use of active verbs, not passive ones (like were, had, and was), and for a twist, try to use little to no adjectives in each sentence. Don’t be afraid of using emotion! Just because a mansion can not feel literal sorrow, it can look very sad and alone as it sits atop a dark, cloudy mountaintop, right?

    Post your practice results in the comments section and let me know how personification works for you!

Comments

Augustnad

Posted 7 Years Ago The wind danced and sang a song of gratitude as she sat there in her own world of nostalgia. Sprawled on the ground around a tiny hole made for the marbles to lay in and call it home. She jumped with excitement and emanated pleasure as the camera captured the moment she would always remember. The dress complimented her body like a river perfectly flowing through the depths of the earth. Xylophone...she lay there thinking how the word has no real meaning to her. It brings a sound to imagination but a sound that brings no inspiration.

kurohana

Posted 8 Years Ago Stepping out of the house as the gentle WIND caress my body. The camera looked straight to the lovely deer as it took a snapshot. The cold and hard marble embrace who ever touched it. The dress I wore dance excitedly as the wind blows to the earth. The xylophone sings beautifuly as the band march down the road. not good enough . haha

Reason4Rissa

Posted 8 Years Ago Silky strands, made from God's hands, calls angels to calm the angry wind, and caress the Windows hair, the pain is enough.

S.M. Melling

Posted 8 Years Ago The wind sang through the treetops as they gently rustled and swayed. The camera flashed and snapped with excitement as my finger pressed down onto the "snapshot" button. The dress she choose for the funeral was forlorn, devoid of any personality or life with its simple blacks and whites. The xylophone was animated, ringing out with a cheerful melody. The marble was cold and impersonal.

A Soap Mess Stories

Posted 8 Years Ago She drew her cloak tighter over her body, but the cold wind ran through her body. The glass eyes of the marbles clinked together as they bumped into each other. The camera captured the attention of the model during the fashion show. The dress sizzled as the contestants finished their dance. The xylophone tapped it's melody into the hearts of the audience with its catchy tune. Not so good, eh?!

theredvelvetlayerofmyso..

Posted 9 Years Ago the arid desert gave birth to a strong, powerful force - wind who blew away everything she moved past the glistening and scintillant marble ran in great speed across the foyer as he tripped an old lady carrying a walking stick the gorgeous ,trendy low cut dress potrayed a deep emotion of style,courage and sophistication.

Arcturus

Posted 9 Years Ago Wind sighed delicately through the barely living forest The marbles deftly evaded capture by careening over the edge of his porch. Remaining as it had for surely decades, her fathers camera patiently awaited his return The dress allowed her body to fill it with a woman's form A long, polite, tone sang pure from the xylophone Not bad for a first try! I've been thinking of stories since I was young, but truly I've never pursued learning to properly tell them.

Kreative Kana

Posted 9 Years Ago I wrote an article about the wind. :)

Dhietr

Posted 9 Years Ago The cold wailing wind sends a shiver down my spine. The marbles let out a loud thump as it hit the the floor and scatter themselves into different directions. The old camera made one last snapping sound before it fell off its owner hand. The dazzling dress took a lot more attention than it should be. The dusty xylophone made weird noises when played, nothing unpredictable. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seems like I need more practice. Thanks for the lesson, it's very helpful :)

Deir Mesang Clayborne

Posted 9 Years Ago As I stood there alone within the storm even the wind felt inactive within my presence. The marble that rolls carelessly across a game board, full of vibrance and character, reminds me of how I wish to be. My camera is an artist within itself, while I am the assistant that holds everything in place. I am taunted by the red dress in the window. It smiles at me everyday as I walk past its shop, reminding me how low I am. I feel the touch of the xylophone in my ear as it speaks to me, soft and sensual.

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