KETTLE NEWS

A Lesson by Bernard Tisman

This is about a mad kettle that goes on the rampage and pour's boiling hot water over any person who has a go at it, so, when boiling a kettle make sure you don't handle it rough otherwise it could go mad, even knock your head off. Kettles sometimes pull off peoples' legs, it's a known fact.

One day a man had just put on the kettle when it suddenly jumped up and emptied itself all over the man. The man said:

"You!" just you wait kettle fiend I’ll melt you to mince bread."

The kettle got its wild up and filled itself up and lunged itself at the man. He ran out like a shot and had to summon a passer - by for help. The passer – by grabbed hold of the kettle pest but it was too big for its boots. It then grabbed the passer – by, kicked him up into the sky and he landed headfirst onto an egg tree and all the eggs smashed.

Meanwhile, down below the mad kettle was trying to shin up the egg tree to attack the man but got shot dead by a passing policeman. Although the kettle was dead that didn’t however stop it from trying to climb the egg tree, when all of a sudden one of the branches grabbed hold of his head and pulled it off. The head got chucked up into outer space and rammed Mars causing it to crash down the Universe. It then got swallowed up by another planet.

The man’s head, the murderer behind Mars’ death was grabbed by Jupiter’s son and knocked all the way the Diblicorsoy, another planet in the Universe.

The passer – by whose head got pulled off by the egg tree’s branch grew a new head.