Juan Avalo

Growing up as a ward of the state, I have seen and done a lot. As a child I realized that the so called �consolers� really didn�t care about my problems, they were just doing their job. My only way to vent my pain was through writing. I would keep a journal of what happened to me and others everyday. I would express how I felt in great detail. One day, a kid who was in a group home with me read my journal and showed it to other kids. I was very embarrassed. They made fun of me for weeks, and I found myself fighting all the time. I stopped writing for a while but the pen and paper seemed to be calling me. So I decided to write again, but in a way others could not understand.

When I was 15 I ran away from my foster parents, and was living on the streets. I had my notebook with me. I met a girl and she would sneak me in her house every night. One night while I was taking a shower she went through my things and read my journal. When I came out the shower and caught her, I just knew she would think I was weird. I noticed she had tears in her eyes, and she begun to say things like �I can�t believe that you had such a terrible life.� I couldn�t believe she understood what I wrote, I mean after all, I wrote it in a way no one could understand. Using metaphors (I didn�t know what a metaphor was at the time) and other secret words that only I knew. I asked her how she was able to know what my writing meant. She said that she loves poetry and read it all the time, but I wasn�t writing poetry, I was just writing about bad things that happened to me and that I did. She told me it was poetry and showed me some of the things she had written. That started my love for poetry.

I have never taken any college classes on poetry. I�m learning about stanzas and rhythm for the first time in my life now. At the age of 22 I began letting people read my poetry and they liked it, some were even able to relate to them. So now poetry has become a very serious hobby for me, self educating myself and trying to become better has become an addiction. Although I don�t really think I have a particular style, I really enjoy reading different styles of poetry. This year (2006) was my first time reading a poem at an open mic poetry set, I was scared to death. They liked it I think.

The poems that I will post on this site are my true thoughts on life, poetry, love etc.
I�m battling depression and find most of my poetry to be about that. But I am slowly trying to get away from that because I have found God and I am not as depressed as I used to be. I love to talk/chat about poetry and make new friends so if anyone wants to chat feel free to contact me anytime. I hope all of you who take the time to read my work will enjoy it. I know it�s not the best, but they are my true feelings and really do come from the heart.