Edmund Jonah

Posted 17 Years Ago

Here is what I wrote to G.f. Snell III. and I would urge you to go to my story Mammon's Daughter and read his critique.

I was seriously considering leaving the Cafe but your review changed my mind. I cannot tell you how much I appreciated your comments. Your review should be set up as an example of what good reviews should be - and that's exactly what I intend to do. I am going to remove Mammon's Daughter but leave the comments for people to see. And direct their attention to it.
I shall also work on the story, even if it becomes a novella - which I suspect it will. Funny how you don't see things because you're so close to it. Thanks again. I hope you will visit my portfolio again.

Posted 17 Years Ago

Hi Edmund:
Thanks for the recent reviews. Your insight is always welcome -- even if you didn't read the title to "Pretending" first. All the best.

Posted 17 Years Ago

Edmund,
I attempted to tackle the subject of bar culture with the hopes of developing a greater understanding of it. I'm curious about what draws people to it, why so many people indulge in it, especially since most of them do so knowing its unhealthy. That's what makes this subject matter compelling, and I know I've not even scratched the surface with that draft, but I wanted to put it on my page so that it would stay in sight and I would not let the piece fall to the wayside. I appreciate your encouragement to work on something more substantial, and I know that your comments about my abilities were well-intentioned, but I do think there will be something of substance to be found in this piece, once I get a better handle on how I need to approach it. Haven't been able to write much lately, as I have been in the process of moving.

Posted 17 Years Ago

Thank you Edmund:
Your comments always leave me with something to consider. All of us need more readers!

Posted 17 Years Ago

I cannot thank you enough for stopping and for reading my poems, Edmund. Thank you so much for your insightful reviews!

Donn is referring to an evoca link I sent him recently of me singing one of my favorite old hymns. I only wish I could have been in NYC, but apprently not in this lifetime.

The description on "The Bequest" is torturous! I wont rest until I read it. ; )

Thank you so much again, I do highly look up to you, Mr. Jonah.

~ Caroline ~

Posted 17 Years Ago

There is certainly something in what you have said. I printed out both the paragraphs I wrote and what you have edited. I can see what you are saying about less is more and I will do as you suggest and rewrite the whole piece.

There was a meeting in California in November, and then one two weeks ago in New York. There are pictures on my page of New York and some others I took on RedSwan's page.

Someone read a poem at the meeting that had a good amout of foul language "F***" this "F***" that "F***" the rest, etc. And someone mentioned something about how Edmund Johna might comment on it. You you would probably say that using less "F***" words is more!

Thank you for your support as I try to improve, I would certainly like to have others touched by my writing. I was at a meeting this morning discussing world peace and ways to achieve it. I mentioned that if we can teach our children to think peacefuly it would be a start. I handed out my poem Black Silk which was based on a lady from Japan I met three weeks ago.

I just noticed Caroline Bloom on your friends list. She is a great writer and a beautiful singer as well.

Donn

Posted 17 Years Ago

Hi Edmund,
Thank you for your comments. The shot of Mars was taken on the night a few years ago when Mars was the closest to the Earth it will be for 70,000 years. All of the great "Lights" are represented... God as the invisible Sun reflected on the water, the stars, the Moon, Mars and the tiny little lights that man produces in New York across the sound.

I have your book on my coffee table, and will finish it some day soon and give you the comment you deserve.

I appreciate your comments about my story. Yes there is much of my emotions in what I write, but so often I am the only person who reads it and if what I write brings tears to my own eyes only, that is OK.

I was at the convention in New York, and your name was mentioned, so you are becoming quite famous I think. What could we desire more from life than to be remembered. We could desire to be remembered 70,000 years from now when Mars returns. But that vanity is a sin I fear.

Donn

Posted 17 Years Ago

Just a little not to say thank you for the review of "Yes" I look forward to reviewing you soon....oh by the way...will you be my friend?

Char

Posted 17 Years Ago

I just wanted to say hello.
So..."hello."

Posted 17 Years Ago

Darling Edmund,
Good Story. Would make a fine TV play.
Got me totally.
Congratulations,
Pearl