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I was chatting up this girl I have a crush on. In the midst of my enthusiastic chatter a tonsil stone dislodged and made a fast track for her eye. Whi..
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You can put a knife up to someone's throat and make them cry and beg for their life. That's easy. But you have no real power in doing so. That's jus..
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The best stories are not written by man. They're witnessed and lived. And they will break you.
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Everyone wants you to be funny, entertaining, and make them laugh. What a f*****g joke. The real trick in life is to find humor in your own perils. ..
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Have you ever got caught up in the heat of the moment and jammed your tongue into someone's belly button and found an excessive amount of belly button..
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Sitting here in class listening to my teacher go through 300 lines of code and she lost me at line 29.
My main objective now is to fight this fart t..
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Bought one of those nice fancy minimalist wallets to cover up the fact I
have no money. Now I can use the excuse, "I can't fit any money in
there..
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WOW, that was great! Just made this deep, meaningful, complicated poem. I will just add that to my soon to be famous poem book. Well, now it's time to..
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Did you know when you go to McDonald's you can get a shot of espresso put into any drink? I turned my milkshake into a McTwerk.
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I'm at a bad place. Mentally, I'm as far down as I've ever been. I don't know what to do. Thinking is hard, my mind is racing, and I'm not able to do ..
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