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love
is selflessness
they told me.
well i say
i've loved
and
wanted them
always
close to me.
even when they didn't want to be.
feel guilty,
..
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i wanted to be like that
beautiful
meaningless
wide blue eyes
girl.
he loved her first
and loved me last.
so i couldn't have kept him,
i was
..
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a week apart,
and they all descend.
no surprise
through drinks, i cried
and longed for...
a safer place than this.
a familiar face
to kiss.
k..
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heart
and
head.
one of which,
i'm ashamed to say,
drove me back
through the night
in a taxi-cab
to your bed.
and further still,
the day afte..
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i have drunk
i've drunk,
been drunk
every night
since i left you.
maybe i like the way
the drink slides over my tongue
and e..
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silent boy,
offered door-opening
side-stepping
art-dedicating
beautiful boy.
i want to grab you by the tufts
of your darkened roots.
kiss your ..
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we made plans,
we built them high in the sky.
it wasn't me.
how can i say, i'm not there yet--
i love you, i love you, i love you.
in a nuclear w..
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i was told
it was foolish.
i am too dark to see the bottom,
and who was he
to only stare dumbly at his reflection?
and they all knew...
the one,..
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just like before,
but i am not here.
i am no-self girl.
i became you;
and we became us.
the barriers collapsed
i learned to trust.
i lost mysel..
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i've never drunk so early,
so alone.
i remember a time,
days in a row,
a bottle of merlot
and a memory of a girl.
but that was in night's embrac..
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