Scott_Lefebvre

A BRIEF PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

If you know, you know.

I'm not trying to get in any trouble over the internet.

Save your bullshit and drama for your free time.

If you have issues, I don't want a subscription.

I've got more than enough grief already.

I also have enough real-life friends already, but I like being introduced to ideas and things and meeting interesting people for the purpose of punching stupid people in the back of the head like the docile sheep they are.

Either you're a sheep or a wolf. Which are you?

Thankfully I don't really sleep.
Because I don't want to miss a minute.
The irons are hot.
It's time to start striking them.
I'm a published author.
An award winning film-maker.
A staff journalist for one of the world's most popular horror-themed websites.
A great salesman.
And a national horror convention merchandising manager.
Who wants some?
Or who wants in?
I'm through with people that like to talk about doing stuff.
People that have these great ideas but never seem to get anything done.
F**k you, punks, take a seat.
I'm sure you'll finish the next great American novel or the next great American horror movie, or your band's really going to take off and get big someday.
But until then you're just talk.
I have nothing in common with talkers.
I'm over here with the people that follow through with what they say and do things.
I'm over here with the tough, smart, capable, ambitious sons of b*****s that you're going to have to kill in their sleep to get out of your way. And you know I don't sleep.
You're either with me, or you're in my f*****g way.
And if you don't like me, keep my f*****g name out of your mouth.
Just because I'm nice to you doesn't mean that I don't hear about the things that you say when I'm not around because you're trying to score points off of me and you think that there's no way that it will get back to me.
Everybody talks.
I wouldn't say s**t if my mouth was full of it, because I always say what I mean and mean what I say.
I gave up sarcasm in eleventh grade when I got back from basic training.
But your average person loves to hear their own voice and they couldn't keep a secret if their life depended on it.
I know things that no one else will ever know even after I'm dead.
I probably know things about you or things that you told me that I haven't told anybody else because you asked me not to.
I've let a dozen people tell me the same "secret" and acted surprised every time I heard it.
Because I keep my friends close and my enemies where I can see them.
I don't talk badly about people unless I'm trying to save other people from wasting time and effort on someone or something.
And even then, I don't talk badly often because it's a waste of time.
I'm perfectly happy to let people that are destined to fail just fail on their own.
I don't need to kick anyone when they're down.
I'm f*****g awesome. I don't need to score points off anyone.
So do what you're gonna do.
But if you burn me, you're f*****g dead to me.
I don't believe anything matters on a long enough timeline.
Everything will end up in the landfill after you die.
And when the sun goes supernova in five billion years it will all be reduced to nothing more than space dust.
So we might as well live for the moment.


I review horror and paranormal books for a couple places. I've been published by the following...

ICONS OF FRIGHT E-ZINE: or MySpace

SCREAMS OF TERROR E-ZINE: or MySpace



And my reviews have been used in whole or in part for the promotion of several of the books I have reviewed.

Like here... Ghosts of Long Island

And here... The Blood Rider



I finished a book I was contracted to write on haunted happenings in Long Island, "Spooky Creepy Long Island" by Schiffer Books.


I work for a horror-themed t-shirt and merchandise company.

FearWerx @

I've been hired as International Convention Manager for 2008.

Which basically means that my job is to go out to horror conventions across North America and make sure that the Fearwerx booth runs smoothly and makes a profit.

Fearwerx will be at over 20 horror conventions next year, so if you notice that we're coming to your town, drop me a line. We're always looking for table help.

At the very least, stop by and check out the table. It would be awesome to meet new people. If you buy something that would be even more awesome.



THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT SCOTT LEFEBVRE:



Scott Lefebvre counted to infinity - twice.



Scott Lefebvre does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Scott Lefebvre goes killing.



Scott Lefebvre does not sleep. He waits.



If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Scott Lefebvre.



Scott Lefebvre's tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cried.



Every time Scott Lefebvre smiles it saves the life of a dying man.

Ironically, Scott Lefebvre only smiles after he kills someone.



The chief export of Scott Lefebvre is fear.



Someone once tried to tell Scott Lefebvre that he might be wrong about something. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.



Scott Lefebvre frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.



Scott Lefebvre once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.



Scott Lefebvre doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."



Scott Lefebvre can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and winking.



Like a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Scott Lefebvre open you would find another Scott Lefebvre inside, only smaller, tougher, and angrier.



Scott Lefebvre is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever the f**k he wants, and anything he pisses on is marked as his for life.



Scott Lefebvre likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kill", and by "sweaters", I mean "stupid people".



It was once believed that Scott Lefebvre actually lost a fight to a clan of ninjas, but that is a lie, created by Scott Lefebvre to encourage clans of ninjas to attack him.

Ninjas never were very smart.



Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Scott Lefebvre tendon.



There's no such thing as a tornado. Scott Lefebvre just hates trailer parks.



When Scott Lefebvre does push-ups, he does not push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.



The first lunar eclipse took place after Scott Lefebvre challenged the sun to a staring contest.

Scott Lefebvre always wins.



Newton's fourth law of physics: Don't f**k with Scott Lefebvre.



The scientific community recently added Scott Lefebvre to the Periodic Table of Elements. (SLeF). His atomic number is Infinity.



There were plans to develop a cologne named after Scott Lefebvre, but it was proven unnecessary when research showed that 95% of women already think about Scott Lefebvre during sex.



There is no such thing as global warming. Scott Lefebvre was cold, so he turned the sun up.



Scott Lefebvre actually built the stairway to heaven.



Scott Lefebvre doesn't play god. Playing is for children.



Scott Lefebvre cannot love, he can only not kill.



If you can see Scott Lefebvre, he can see you.

If you can't see Scott Lefebvre, you are seconds away from death.



Scott Lefebvre can judge a book by its cover.



Most people pray to God when they say their evening prayers.

God prays to Scott Lefebvre.

Scott Lefebvre doesn't pray because his will is law, and reality f*****g knows better.



Scott Lefebvre uses a night light. Not because Scott Lefebvre is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Scott Lefebvre.



When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk.

When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Scott Lefebvre.



In a battle-royale between Batman, Darth Vader, and Robocop, the winner would be Scott Lefebvre.



Scott Lefebvre doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.



Scott Lefebvre grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.



Think of a hot woman. Scott Lefebvre did her.



Scott Lefebvre sleeps with a pillow under his gun.



Some people get honorary degrees from universities.

Scott Lefebvre gets honorary black belts.



Scott Lefebvre doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.



Scott Lefebvre is the exception that proves the rule.



The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Scott Lefebvre.



Scott Lefebvre once killed a salesman... over the phone.



Scott Lefebvre can sneeze with his eyes open.



Scott Lefebvre knows the last digit of pi.



Scott Lefebvre's cel phone number is "1".




THE BUKOWSKI QUOTE GALLERY:



From 'Factotum':



"How in the hell can a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, s**t, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?"



"I wasn't very good. My idea was to wander about doing nothing, always avoiding the boss, and avoiding the stoolies who might report to the boss. I wasn't all that clever. It was more instinct than anything else. I always started a job with the feeling that I'd soon quit or be fired, and this gave me a relaxed manner that was mistaken for intelligence or some secret power."



From 'Pulp':



"It was a time for a tabulation, a tabulation of myself. All in all, I had made some good moves. I wasn't sleeping on the streets at night. Of course, there were a lot of good people sleeping in the streets. They weren't fools, they just didn't fit into the needed machinery of themoment. And those needs kept altering. It was a grim set-up and if you found yourself sleeping in your own bed at night, that alone was a precious victory over the forces. I'd been lucky but some of the moves I'd made had not been entirely without thought. But all in all it was a fairly horrible world and I felt sad, often, for most of the people in it."