Ryan Haugen

Hey kids, I'm Ryan Haugen. Some of you know me as Ryan Garish, Roy, or any of the magical aliases whom when I take their role, make me a better person. When you can acknowledge that roles you play are better people than you actually are, then your life finally begins. It's not a negative thought. When you imitate your favorite character, or move like some prick from a movie, or even sing aloud without refrain, you are better than you ever have been. That's why I often slip off into a world where I'm not myself and just indulge. Usually when I'm alone. It helps me forget about the problems that humans have, however trite they are.

I'm probably not as brilliant as you want me to be. I'm probably not going to dive into pools of money when I'm 25, 35, 45, or ever. If I can eliminate the problems of being human then money is obsolete, even unto death!

What I will do however is create, manifest, design, and become. That's all that's left for me. I'm far into a rut of human exploration. The world of emotion has exposed itself to me, and I've drank from it, as if a drunkard. It's overwhelming, and it drives you mad. But through the haze, I'll still create. Slowly, quickly, whatever I desire. But I will.

I've pulled far away from most people my age. I've distanced myself from people I see as problematic. I've taken hold of my life at the age of 16, and changed many things. It's a sense of independence. In the end however, it creates a sort of crucifying nostlagia. It kills me and fuels me in the end. In essence I miss everything that has happened to me in the past three years; all those beautiful yet petty memories and dreams, taunting me. It's a bit too personal.