Rain

"Having lived a bit has altered my thoughts of this coming new year from
all those that have come and gone. Life is so bizarre that in some ways, my diagnosis has been a blessing.

"I'm not sure why life goes like that. But often in those moments when our life seems to be at its
lowest, we are taught the most profound lessons.
Life can be so unforgiving and cruel, and yet still possess a breathtaking beauty. As humans, we tend to separate ourselves for the most shallow and selfish of reasons.
But in the end, our sameness should always erode away our differences.
We all will experience pain and loss on this journey.
We all will have our brief moments of chest-pounding triumph, to be followed by the crushing reality
that we are also the frailest and weakest of beings.

"My hope for the New Year is for people to understand how fleeting our health, our wealth
and our social status can be; that life is a blend of all things, both good and bad, for all people.
I hope that we learn to see that sameness - and know that, all in all, life is good.''


� 2008 Rain

Tom Waits - Hold On




































Nothing to say..that hasn't been said. Rather walk alone to the sound of sea waves in my head.. I am dying and living. I am not sure which has the greater influence on me. I need to write..I have to die. And so I seek a place of solitude to talk about my terminal cancer..and my love for life.I write for myself..but in secret hope someone hears me..knows that I exist..and existed. I dance with life...but it is often a meloncholy waltz in a distant field. I am a man who loves like a child...whose memories of playgrounds slowly flitter away. To laugh and love is to live. I do not sing...play an instrument...paint...or sculpt...yet I am an artist of the alleys and paths I have walked. I am an unfinished portrait...waiting and wondering how I will look in the end. I have loved life deeply...despite the many ill chosen paths that have brought me here. I feel like my heart will explode if I can't release the thoughts that fill my restless soul. Here's to all those who walked by my side on this journey. I am a part of you...and you are part of me.
Sometimes it hurts to look back on your life...the mistakes, the people you hurt, the things you might change. But, your life is what it is...yours. No-one lives without regret. You must look at it all, not a segment. You must see all of your life. It is then the painting takes on it's raw beauty..a blend of laughter and tears, good and bad. My life...my painting...it is mine. I cannot go back. If I could...I would tell those that loved me how much I appreciated them, but I can't. I loved some at the wrong time. I ended up where the path led. When asked who painted this picture...I say " I did." It is how I lived. It shows both the ugliness and beauty of my journey. In all...it is a priceless reflection of my life.
My hero is Westley Autrey, the man who leaped down in front of a subway to save a stranger. He is America...

I like rain and the power of thunder and lightning...playgrounds and children laughing. I like winners and losers when they cry...women dressed in black...old friends who forgive...freight trains with cabooses...time alone.. women with dark hair,and dark eyes. I love the ocean wind when it's strong...and a gentle breeze that make the fields look like they're dancing. I like old dogs and young puppies...Christmas...and kids with earmuffs. I tend to like people with low self-esteem...they seem more sincere and humble...people who turn their Christmas lights on in Aug. I love my wife and my sons and grandsons, my friends. I don't like crowds...small cars... arrogant people...or mondays. I like memories of old friends...now gone. I love life when it lets you dance...I love James Dean and Tom Waits, and Audrey Hepburn. The world changed when they took the caboose off the train, stopped naming hurricane's after women, and changed the name of Sugar Crisp, to Golden Crisp. I like me sometimes...but not always.











Of the many lesson's life teaches, few are taught while the sun is shining. Most of life's profound lessons are taught while we are standing alone...in the middle of the pouring rain..