NessaJO

I love most everything. I�m big on animal rights and stuff like that, But I�m not going to go dump red paint on someone wearing fur. I also LOVE art and photography. I love the experience of being in front of the camera. I love to see the flash of the lights and I love more than anything getting that beautiful picture that is stuck in your memories for years. But also there is noting like being behind the camera, getting that once in a life time picture. It�s an amazing feeling.
*~*~*~*~*
~*~*~*~
*~*~*
~*~
~*
*
I used to write poetry almost everyday. But I hardly write anymore for more reasons than i can explain. Lately when i do write it has to be amazing or i will not post it.
*
~*
~*~
*~*~*
~*~*~*~
*~*~*~*~*
:ABOUT ME:
My name is Vannessa, But my friends call me NessaJo. The reason why I started to write is because my sister
Did and I wanted be like her. I wanted to touch people like she did. My sixth grade teacher, Bonner, made Me write short stories. It was really annoying at that age. LOL
*~*~*~*~*
~*~*~*~
*~*~*
~*~
~*
*
:ABOUT MY THOUGHTS:
I'm not trying to be rude but if I write about cutting or whatever, I don�t want you to preach to me. I get that enough by my church and my family. I have grown up in a Christian church. For about three years I was a born again Christian. I was devoted and passionate about my beliefs. My step dad punished us with the bible and made us go to church. He wasn't a very nice person, as you can tell from my writings of him. I promise that if you comment me I will comment you back.
*
~*
~*~
*~*~*
~*~*~*~
*~*~*~*~*
:MY CURRENT FEELINGS:
Im 18 and i got married 19 days after my 18th birthday. Im married to Michael, i knew we were going to get married. The biggest problem i have right now is... im in love with another man. I have loved him for almost ten years. I was 8 when we met and i thought it was just a crush and my feelings for him would eventually change. But they didn't. And come to find out he loves me too. I love him so much and i separated from my husband to be with him but i went back. I went back because i needed security. I see now that it wasn't a very good reason to leave. I still love my husband. But things are just different now. For hours on end I will sit and think about how my life would be if i would have stayed with him, the other guy. I love him so much... i really do. But i do have a husband and i do have to work things out, but i constantly think about him. The honest truth is, i think about him all day and dream about him all night. If you want to know how i truly feel read the "Secret Lover" and "Secret Lover (2)"

^^that^^ was before me and my husband worked things out. We now have a relationship thats amazing. Its like me leaving showed him, opened his eyes to the reality of this. He loves me unconditionaly. We have even decided to start a family. We were pregnant but we lost the baby. It was hard... but the loss of it made us closer. In a way it was a blessing. This life that never had the chance to begin saved our marrage and made it better. In more then one way. We love more, we laugh more, we care more. Even tho it was hard, and depressing... it was for the best.
*~*~*~*~*
~*~*~*~
*~*~*
~*~
~*
*
:RANDOM STUFF ABOUT ME:
The only books I have ever read completely threw was �Enders Game�, and �Abbadon�, they are both very good books. But I really hate to read! I�m a very good reader, I just hate it. Oh and one book I suggest NOT to read is �The Old Man and the Sea�. I started to read it and it made my stomach sick. And this other book I think it was called �The Pearl� it was boring! Like I hardly stayed awake to read it.This is very random to talk about but im going to talk about it anyway. I can�t say I have any hero�s. I can say that there are people that have crossed my path in life that I look up to. Honestly I hate that anyone would say that they have a hero. Because yes there are touching stories and yes people have saved other peoples lives. But in my opinion I don�t think that there is one person in this world that can be called a true hero. If you don�t like what I have to say im sorry. Its how i feel, and im not gonna change it for some random person i dont know.
*
~*
~*~
*~*~*
~*~*~*~
*~*~*~*~*
ABOUT MY WRITING:
I'm not the best speller, and my grammar is horrible. But i hope that you can look beyond that and see my feelings and my point of view. And if you don't like something i'm not gonna apologize. The one thing i do have to tell you is that a lot of these were written when about 14 or 15 years old. I'm now 19 and i see i had so much anger in my life about things i didn't need to be angry about.
*~*~*~*~*
~*~*~*~
*~*~*
~*~
~*
*

Paralyzed Lyrics